by Vicki Flaugher, CEO SmartWoman Publishing

China is a magnificent place. I have just returned from a week long visit there on business and I am blown away! The beauty, history, hospitality, and generosity of the land and its people were enough to bring tears to my eyes. It was a life changing opportunity.

Since I see my life experiences as a mirror to greater lessons, I want to share with you some of the personal a-ha moments revealed to me on my trip. Maybe you can relate to some of them…

Courtesy is an old-fashioned value worth cultivating

In China, “face” is very important. In the US, we focus on saving face but not very often on giving face. During the dinners and talks, beautiful flourishes of description honoring the place and the people were a matter of course. The importance of fully appreciating others and their contributions was high in the hierarchy of conversation in Chinese culture.

Even beyond the flourishes was a sense of the importance of yielding. The most important person goes through the door first so it’s almost a contest to demonstrate courtesy and respect by allowing someone else in the door ahead of you. When you toasted and clinked wine glasses, to show respect and modesty, you clinked the glass edge below the other person’s glass edge. In an American world of vying for top dog position and clawing your way to the top, this yielding and show of respect was not only refreshing but incredibly satisfying to participate in. To most in America, the thought of placing yourself below another – of yielding – is a foreign and undesirable action. In reality, it was an honor to do.

Relationships are not just important, but are most important

In China, you don’t really talk about business at dinner, even when it’s a business dinner. Nobody really asks what you do – they want to get to know your character, your history, your thoughts. They don’t even want to entertain the idea of doing business with you until relationship is well established.

In the US, what we “do” is the primary focus. We often don’t even get to know each other before we give our elevator pitch. Think back to the last networking event you attended – isn’t what you charge for, what you do as your business, the thing that you led the conversation with? It’s what we’re taught. I have come to know first hand that it’s not the only way and even that it’s not the best way.

Beauty is the highest blessing

When I arrived in my first hotel room, fragrant fresh flowers and a artistically arranged fruit basket awaited me. At every dinner and even the business meetings, fresh flowers were on the tables. Flower shops were located within the business parks because they are considered a business expense item, a preferred addition to any gathering. Don’t even get me started on the amazing displays in the hotel lobbies – wow! As a hobby gardener, I certainly admired the landscaping and natural environment.

Although I understand from other experienced travelers that all of China isn’t all green and beautiful, the places I visited were almost singularly focused on maintaining a deep and abiding connection to Nature’s beauty. One of the reoccurring mentions of the competitive advantages of each business park we visited included its display of greenery, its access to lakes and scenic mountains, and the ease of communing with the outdoors. I take away from this experience that I need to increase the display of beauty in my own surroundings, and for the revelation, I am immensely grateful to my Chinese hosts.

Over the coming weeks, I will share other experiences, including a summary of each city I visited. As a final thought, I would say this – if you don’t have a passport, go get one. Traveling to another country will give you a perspective that staying home doesn’t give. Go to China and see for yourself. And, know too, that I am grateful you are here and am honored to count you among my friends. I could not be happy and successful without my friends and family, without you. Thank you.