As children, we were told to use our “inside voice”.

The request was usually triggered by us running around, yelling at the top of our lungs, wrecking havoc in our pathway. Often, we were just having fun, but we might have been fighting for stuff, or maybe angry, or maybe trying to get attention. Safe to say, we weren’t being subtle.

The request for using our inside voice was typically made by a long suffering and frazzled parent or care provider. It was a plea, really, to take a deep breath and lower our outward volume. They wanted us to act in a more measured and controlled tone, to (dare I say it?) act more civilized.

In marketing your business, I would suggest that using your inside voice can be very powerful. Instead of taking the approach that we are being asked to damp down our “real selves” and behave in a way we do not wish, we could look at it as a chance to get in touch with our deeper selves.

It’s often in the silence, when that inner knowing and confidence begins to bubble up and show itself, that we find our true voice. You don’t need all caps and exclamation points to garner attention. As any mother knows, sometimes it’s what you don’t say, actually, that gets the message across. Being plugged in with your heart and creativity is a way to know that more quiet way. Being willing to build rather than tear down is a good first step.

By being open to exploring the deep emotions and connections that prompt your prospect to purchase, or your client to refer you, or your employees to go the extra mile, you find your inside voice. You move in strong and effective ways. Your level of sophistication and relevance improves. You step into that wonderful world of civilized adults having a valuable conversation about important things. Yes, you can still have fun and scream with glee when it’s the right time and place. But, your business marketing isn’t that time and place. Find your inside voice and use it today.

The voice of the people – the Tribe – is the new business paradigm. Never in the course of history has such engagement, interaction, and immediate connection been possible. With the ever increasing social acceptance of the Internet and all its opportunities – online purchasing, blogging, Skype, YouTube, citizen reporting, Twitter – the game changing goal for promoting your business is no longer how big your megaphone is, but how many people are talking about you.

You can’t do it through flashy ads, no matter how clever they are. Super Bowl cuties aside, very few people remember ads for very long. And, they don’t leave a permanent trail to you, like a blog post or an interview posted online can – once you quit paying, you’re gone.

You can’t do it through pushing your PR agenda. Not only do you come off as a pompous ass, but you will not drown out the voice of the Tribe when you screw up. If you haven’t been talking to them like they want to be talked to before something bad happens, it will be too late when the proverbial sheet hits the fan. Think Motrin Moms.

You can’t do it by spending more money. Cash does not make conversation – people do. If you are spending more money and employer resources on buying TV spots than on focusing on touching people, connecting with what they care about, and really listening, then you can ride that money horse awhile longer, but your days are numbered. Look what technology did to billboards – there are few if any more billboard painters. Even the cool plastic pull-on sheets are being replaced by multi-user electronic LED screens. More color, more movement, move eye catching, faster and easier to change…no amount of money promoting a painted billboard will help you anymore. It’s over and it’s likely not to come back.

But, the good news? The voice of the people and elevating its value to a higher place is changing the way we live our lives. I have friends, people who have touched me in ways that will benefit me for the rest of my days, whom I’ve never met face to face. I am able to connect my business with a huge group of passionate, interested people just by being willing to be part of the conversation. This paradigm shift will grow and the individuals who are willing to step out front, sooner rather than later, are the ones that will light the way. It feels a little early, but developing relationships take time – you have to start now.

Yesterday, I met Kevin Leahy, a body language and communication expert at Knowledge Advocate, LLC. He shared a great tip with me for changing your body language and mindset - put your eyebrows up! <==click there to go to his full blog post.

Maybe not what you’d expect, the eybrow thing, but Kevin makes a lot of sense. He draws a distinct connection between how we use our body and how we feel and how we come off to others. He was kind and generous with his time with me at the bookstore, helping me with tips on how to do well on my next interview with Bazaarvoice. (Thanks, Kevin -  you are an angel!)

So, here’s your tip of the day – Eyebrows up!