As some of you may know, I talk about “The Second Coming of Age”, this magical time that 35-55 year old women experience. It’s an awakening of Spirit, a shifting of priorities, and I’ve yet to meet a women who doesn’t go through it. It’s scary, it’s enlightening, and it changes us.

My own Second Coming of Age is why I started my online life, it’s why I am where I am today, and it’s something that, once I learned how to deal with it, has enriched me. This is the meat of what we talk about during this 15 minute interview.

I hope it can give you some insight on how to manage your own transformation. Here’s to love, life, and happiness!

Click on the link below to go to Karen’s site and listen to the interview:

SmartWoman Vicki Flaugher interview with Karen Hodges

Maybe not what you’d expect, the eybrow thing, but Kevin makes a lot of sense. He draws a distinct connection between how we use our body and how we feel and how we come off to others. He was kind and generous with his time with me at the bookstore, helping me with tips on how to do well on my next interview with Bazaarvoice. (Thanks, Kevin -  you are an angel!)

So, here’s your tip of the day – Eyebrows up!

Never before in my life have I felt such an outpouring of gratefulness, generosity, and caring as I have witnessed over the last several weeks. Don’t know if I was just wearing the right clothes, or smelled just so, but I have had the pleasure of seeing some amazing things first hand. And, I feel glad from it.

Everywhere around us, we witness the world. Some of it can seem frightening. If you listen to the general attention monger media, you might conclude that we should all be in a constant state of fear.

But here’s the deal – fear is a state of mind, not an automatic reaction. When we open our eyes to beauty and miracles, we see that instead. Call me a rose-colored glasses wearing optimist, but hope and forward looking visioning feels better to experience. It gives me more strength of spirit to face the issues that need addressing and to take action. Fear cripples – hope and love uplift. Fear is a choice and it is not my choice today.

In honor of this elation and well…gratitude I feel for the wondrous and hopeful things I see around me, I thought I would share with you some of my favorite causes. If you have one you love, please list it in comments below so we can all know about the good work they are doing and how we can help.

Kiva.org – Microlending site: For as little as $25 you can provide much needed credit assistance to deserving entrepreneurs worldwide. Most entrepreneurs who use microlending are women.
RoomToRead.org – Literacy program started by ex-Microsoft executive, John Wood, that builds libraries throughout the developing world. Room to Read’s programs have reached more than three million children so far and hopes to improve literacy for ten million children by 2020.
WomenForWomen.org – Women for Women International provides women survivors of war, civil strife and other conflicts with the tools and resources to move from crisis and poverty to stability and self-sufficiency.
Charity: Water - Almost a billion people on the planet don’t have access to clean drinking water. That’s one in eight of us. charity: water is a non-profit organization bringing clean and safe drinking water to people in developing nations. 100% of public donations directly fund water projects.

We have the power within ourselves to create a world of peace, understanding, tolerance, and health. Thank you to everyone who is working toward this vision – know that many of us stand in gratitude for what you do.

Together, we are stronger!

Vicki Flaugher, CEO
SmartWomanGuides.com

Networking, to me, is some bit of a necessary evil. I don’t always feel so comfortable at big events with strangers, but I am working on releasing that. I do especially enjoy certain events and this last week, I went to a happy hour that was complete fun.

The event, hosted at the Four Seasons Hotel in Austin, Texas, was a philanthropy happy hour, held to promote the upcoming White Party fundraiser for LEAP/Lifeworks. It was a garden party full of drop dead gorgeous people who are just as beautiful inside as they are on the outside. Everyone in attendance was a direct volunteer or financial supporter of the LEAP organization and I was blown away by the quality of individuals there.

I was equally impressed with the organizers themselves. Pictured above in the middle is Brett Barnes, the Executive director of Lifeworks. Lifeworks’ mission is to transition youth and families from crisis to safety and success with education, housing resources, job training, life skills, and more. LEAP is one of their umbrella programs that connects executives and business people to Lifeworks via fund raisers, volunteer opportunities, and more.

So, I partied for a cause. I met some great people. I connected with other like minded social entrepreneurs and conscious philanthropists that see compassion as a prerequisite to doing great business. I felt like I was among “my people”. Networking isn’t so bad after all…

Beyond Words: founded 14 years ago by Nitsan Gordon–Giles, a professional dance/movement therapy counselor, this is a group that brings together Israeli, Arab, and Palestinian women to heal through movement, touch, and listening. I met Nitsan at a FLOW event last week and she was a gentle, focused and joyful person. She told her story how, as a child, she had to live in bomb shelters, and how she was tormented in US school by the other kids because she was the only Jew. Here is an excerpt from the Beyond Words website about why it’s important to undermine prejudice:

Why is it important to transform prejudices in Israel?

Mainly because as evidenced from our own past and that of so many others around the world, prejudice can lead to incredibly destructive, horrific actions.

Also if the “need” for prejudiced behavior is not addressed, it can be passed on to the next generation. In the Middle East prejudice permeates large sections of the region’s populations and transforming it in Israel is our responsibility as a sovereign state, and is within our reach, and possibilities.

We believe changes begin at home and in the community. As women are educated about their rights and taught to work through their fears and support one another, they realize that their lives could be different. Gradually they become stronger and better able to stand up for their own rights and the rights of their children. As their self confidence and awareness increase they are able to create a more open, loving, respectful and accepting atmosphere in their homes. Consequently their children grow up treating others with more respect, empathy and compassion and realize the many choices they have to solve every problem that do not include aggression and violence.

Because the Middle East is such a “hot spot” involving more than three of the worlds’ religions and much of the world’s supply of oil, the lack of stability in the Middle East affects and endangers the rest of the world and in fact the survival of humanity on this planet. It is therefore crucial to create programs that undermine prejudices and encourage dialogue, justice and a shared society.

Be well, love each other, and use the freedom you do have so that those who do not have freedom can live though you too.

Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

Jen is the Attraction Diva, working as a successful business consultant, using solid business principles coupled with the powerful energy and visioning work of the Law of Attraction, to help entrepreneurs build six and seven figure incomes. She is one of my friends and trusted advisors and I wanted to share her with you.

I spoke with Jen about her beginnings as an entrepreneur, what she does now, as well as asked her for pointers to move past stuck places and doubt in our business. You can listen to our 18 minutes interview here:

Jen Blackert, the Attraction Diva, interview

From her early days as a young girl making soap and crafts to her poignant breakdown experience in corporate America, Jen walks us through what it took for her to have her entrepreneurial wake up moment. She also shared with me the way she approaches helping clients envision and shape their passionate work life, which fits in perfectly here on SmartWoman Guides.

Her upcoming Fearless Millionaire telesummit features 15 internet marketing entrepreneurs, including Bob Doyle, Ken Arthur, Mari Smith and more (see if you find a familar face there…ok,  yes, it’s me too!) The virtual event is a five day marketing and wealth creation event designed to increase abundance, awareness and business wealth creation. The five day event includes daily tele-trainings held daily at 1 p.m., 4 p.m. and 9 p.m. Eastern Time Monday, January 12 through Friday, January 16th.

Here is one of Jen’s interviews, where she discusses her Seven Dragons
book, on Fox News TV.

When you go to Jen’s site, you can sign up for several free gifts. I’ve done it and I recommend you do too.

Enjoy!

Vicki

Victoria generously visited with me for about an hour to have a kitchen table chat. As we both make ourselves lunch, we chatted about how we met on Twitter, why we made the choice of working for ourselves, and a few other day to day niceties. She has a delightful personality that makes it easy to understand why she is so successful at facilitating agreements in her work.

Our conversation moved into Victoria’s career choices and how they have affected her life. Victoria shared with me the challenges of working in a male dominated field and how those experiences helped to shape her choices. She also candidly revealed the wear and tear that always working toward a win at all costs rather than a negotiated settlement had on her, which is one of the primary reasons she shifted from being a litigator to a negotiation specialist.

After this initial warm up conversation between the two of us, it was time to turn on the recorder and cover the topic at hand – negotiation.

We covered the different styles of negotiation, distributive and interest-based, and the characteristic behaviors of each. She also shared how moving to interest-based negotiation enhances women’s ability to win negotiations and how we can use our inherent tendencies to succeed.

We talked about how all women can negotiate better to not only enhance relationships but also get what we truly desire. She shares her insights into the reasons why women might not choose to negotiate, how to do it better, and when not to do it.

Life is about choices and we are negotiating on many levels for many things every day. If it’s presenting our business plan to an investor, closing sales, getting our child dressed for school, or asking our husband to take out the trash, we are negotiating. Victoria talks about how we can use our innate nurturing natures as women to make better choices, even in a world of dog eat dog competition. By asking questions, by being empathetic, by doing our homework before a negotiation, by understanding that in fact we are in a negotiation, we can live better lives. We can make the pie bigger and more delicious.

To listen to the interview:

To download to listen later:

Victoria recommends several books and I have placed the links below. I have also placed all of her contact information so you can stay in touch with her. As you navigate (and negotiate) the holiday season,  have fun and be well. Love each other, share the information, and enjoy the conversation!

Follow Victoria on Twitter: vpynchon

Her blog on negotiation: Settle It Now Blog
Her blog on Intellectual Property Alternative Dispute Resolution: IP ADR Blog

Leigh Thompson’s book on developing the heart and mind of a negotiator.
To visit Leah’s site: Leigh Thompson’s site

Dr. Deborah Tannen’s book on the differences of men and women in communication style. To learn more about Dr. Tannen, visit her bio page here: Dr. Tannen Bio

Ask For It Site

Michael Martine offers tons of free content and tips on blogging and internet marketing at Remarkablogger – and on Twitter. For your specific questions and to help you develop a winning plan for your blog, he offers one-on-one consulting and live group teleseminars.

Michael is an all around great guy. He coaches you on how to get more traffic to your site, but more importantly he teaches you how to get better traffic to your site. He works his magic using kindness, compassion and creativity, assisting you in developing a larger vision of what you can accomplish.

Michael talked with me about my blog and how I could use it to better achieve my goals. I agreed to let him record the session so you could hear how he coaches. It’s a great example of the insight and perspective he offers bloggers.

To listen to the interview, click on the link below:

Remarkablogger and SmartWoman Coaching Session

We talked about the purpose I desire for my blog, what I wanted the SmartWoman brand to be ultimately, and some practical steps to implement now and in the future to get me there. If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that I have already been implementing his changes. It’s a work in process but I am definitely applying what Michael and I discussed. I am excited about the changes and will continue to make them to better my brand and sharpen my focus.

Visit Michael at Remarkablogger and follow him on Twitter. He will help you and he is generous with his knowlege – get to know him.

Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

Follow me on Twitter: SmartWoman