I often go in with a softer attitude toward performance, too. I cut them slack. And, when they don’t need any slack and perform well, it rates double. And, not only does the business get a gold star, but so does the friend who recommended them. It all works together to strengthen my trust and deepen my relationship with all involved. I go in expecting greatness rather than wondering if I’ll get it.

To use testimonials and referrals to strengthen your business relationships, here are some helpful hints:

1. Ask directly
Nothing goes farther than simply asking. And, be sure to be polite but direct.

If you are looking for more clients, ask your current clients during the process, rather than after. To understand why this particular timing is important, you need to understand a scientific phenomenon called “morphic convergence”. In basic terms, it’s why when you are beginning to shop for a Prius (or even just start to think actively about starting to shop for a Prius) you begin to notice Prius cars all over the place when you never noticed them before. And, you start meeting other people by happenstance that are also looking to buy a Prius. Your mental focus brings these things into view for you, or converges on that idea.

The approach then is to use the power of your client’s morphic convergence experience to help you. If they are looking to buy your product, they have probably met others who are too. Waiting until after the sale or process means your client will meet more people who just bought their Prius rather than are looking to buy, which doesn’t really help you, right?

Ask for an introduction to anyone they know who they feel could use your services. Include in your introductory meeting with clients that you work mainly by referral. Tell them that you would rather spend money serving the loyal clients you have better than on advertising looking for new clients. Timing is everything. You don’t want to ask for a referral before that new client even knows what you’re about, but it can happen sooner than you probably think or are completely comfortable initiating at this point. Just ask and it will feel more and more comfortable to you as you practice it. Find your groove and it will come back to you in good will and increased sales.

2. Set up an incentive program
Reward your clients with recognition, gifts, discounts, your unfettered time, or other courteous and thoughtful gestures.

It doesn’t have to cost much, as you will find that the human touch goes a long way. People don’t refer their friends to make money, in general. They are being kind and helpful. Responding in equally motivated ways magnifies that and does more for a relationship than money. Money is nice, but giving a gift rather than offering a discount sets the stage for maintaining your price points as well as building trust and rapport.

One thing you can do here: if you have a progression of products that you sell, for example beginner, intermediate, and advanced levels, giving a gift that moves the referring client to your next level of products in addition to recognizing their generosity for referring can increase your business in more than one way. That’s great for everyone.

Another idea is to partner with other businesses that can refer back to you when developing client gift ideas. If you sell birthday cakes, include a free helium rental coupon for balloons from a florist gift shop. The client will have to pick up the helium canister and is likely to buy the fancy balloons at the same time. And, give the florist gift shop a gift offer they can give away. Be sure to make it a real gift though rather than a thinly disguised sale offer or it won’t work. But, don’t you think that client will always call you for cakes when they get such great service? Of course they will!

3. Be consistent and make it easy and fun to participate
Adding more positive experience and doing so consistently emphasizes further the advantages of interacting with you and your business.

Setting up a call-in audio testimonial line and then featuring the referring client and their business on your website or in your newsletter is a fun way to show your appreciation. People love talking about and hearing themselves, and it is so sincere and believable. And it establishes further reciprocity – you do something for them, they do something for you, you do something for them, and so on and so on.

If you are a blogger or website owner, review and recommend someone else’s site that would be helpful to your core clients and then send an email to that site’s owner with a link to your review. They are likely to refer back to you. Sometimes referrals come after you’ve given first, so be generous with your information and expertise. It will pay off.

Don’t pretend that sending a cute birthday card to your insurance clients is going to ensure you referrals. I always laugh out loud when I get an overly personal message from someone who, frankly, isn’t that overly personal with me in actuality. Consistent contact is usually better than no contact, but make the contact count. Pick up the phone for example. Even a phone message just saying hello, or inviting them to a client appreciation wine tasting, or checking on someone for no particular reason at all carries weight. Pretending you know them enough to send them a personal greeting doesn’t.

Many service providers I work with only work with referral clients. They don’t advertise, they don’t discount, and they don’t take on clients they don’t like. They don’t have to because they have implemented a referral strategy that gives them everything they need. If you try it, you might like it.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

So this a polling post—how do you deal with overwhelm? I’d like to tell you I never get it, but I’d be lying. I can say I am better than I used to be, but still not where I want to be. I figure I will just cut myself some slack.

When I make a to-do list, it’s all stuff I like to do. That’s good. But it’s long! Not so good. So, for today, I am going to take a deep breath, get organized for Monday and be kind to myself. Maybe I’ll whip out that foot massaging soaker thing I own (which has cob webs on it, I’m sure) and relax a bit. And look at some pretty pictures or flowers (check out the cool photo that my unofficial mom-in-law took–isn’t it great?) Maybe some merlot is in my near future too…hmmm…

I am always admonishing you to take care of yourself. I guess that’s what I’ll do today for me.

What about you, ladies? What are you doing to handle overwhelm? When the going gets rough, what do you do to deal with it? I’d love know!

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

p.s. I actually have a bunch of exciting things to share, so stay tuned. Also, we will cover more traffic techniques next week. Have a great day!!

As you know, I was following the Cow vs. Conn blog contest. It’s all done but the crying at this point. The sites these two internet marketers created in only 30 days are now up for sale but lucky for you, John Cow has assembled his blog building journey into an ebook that he’s giving away for free.

I can attest this is good stuff. You get the exact steps you need to take to build a business, not just a blog, and he explains it very well. Good tool for our July goal of getting and converting traffic. A blog is simply ideal for that!

 To  get your free ebook,  go to
SmartWoman Sends Readers to John Cow

Enjoy reading and let’s get to work!

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

p.s. By the way, I just launched a reading literacy site inspired by
renowned Learning Styles co-creator Dr. Rita Dunn.  Go check it out!
http://TeachingEveryChildToRead.com

When we create and ask a well-constructed question, it feels like a guitar string being plucked inside our bodies. A vibration that sings “Yes, that’s it. That’s what I want to know” wells up within you. Don’t be worried you won’t know it or feel it when you hear it. You will. Just listen. And, prepare yourself for a freely given and honest answer.

Answers have to be freely accepted. “No” is an answer. “I don’t know” is an answer. And, “Yes, I could help you but I am not going to” is also answer. These aren’t necessarily the answers we want to get, but we must keep an open mind and heart about hearing real answers. Don’t ever worry that you shouldn’t have asked. It’s ok to ask. Just remember that it takes true devotion to see the silver lining in your disappointments, but you will probably find one if you look for it.

As much as hearing the answer we were looking for may sound good, if it isn’t accompanied by action and the appropriate level of attention from the person who said they would help, it doesn’t mean much at all. Badgering or shaming people into saying yes tends to generate resentment and they are likely to say anything just to get you to go away. Not exactly what you were hoping for, right?

On the flip side of the coin, it is ok to ask spontaneous questions. Don’t hold back on some seemingly wild idea to call someone famous and ask them for advice or an interview if you feel impulsed to do it. Try it! It’s pretty unlikely that anything bad will come from asking and your chances of actually getting what you asked for do increase by the mere act of asking. Begin collecting together great questions so you have them ready in the event of a chance meeting. You might be surprised at what comes of it.

Just remember that the end result is what you’re looking to accomplish. How you get there can be flexible. Ultimately, you can ask big and get big. You can ask small and get small. Is small what you had in mind? I bet not.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

New Articles Posted in June:

Copywriting Tip: Writing for the Helen Keller Moment

Mass Transit Mindset: Are You Too Sexy For The Bus?

Smart Women Give Themselves Permission

The Right Fragrance Can Give You a Lift – Anytime of the Day

Websites: Making Money Authentically

Why is Internet Marketing Important to My Business?

Don’t forget too that you can find over a dozen more articles, about internet marketing and various other topics at Qassia.

New Interviews Posted in June:

SmartWoman Exclusive: Evan Carmichael Interview

SmartWoman Interview: Joy Chudacoff of Smart Women, Smart Solutions

Books Recommended in June

2 selections in honor of the late Tim Russert

Wisdom of Our Fathers: Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons 

Big Russ and Me: Father and Son: Lessons of Life

My Favorite Books About Leveraging and Outsourcing

Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity

The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich

To understand the different ways men and women communicate:

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

We also enjoyed several international news updates:

SmartWoman Worldwide

We held a contest where 4 lucky women were selected to attend a 3-day Women’s Empowerment Summit. Congratulations, ladies! I am planning another contest this month, so stay tuned. For those still interested in attending the event August 1-3, find out more here:
Women’s Business Empowerment Summit

I will post soon what I have planned for July. In the meantime, please accept my heartfelt thanks for your loyalty, support, and attendance. The community would be nothing without you.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

First, one of my favorite divas and recommended blogs to read:
Book Review- Mommy Millionaire
By Katie Skow(Katie Skow)
I sincerely appreciate the fact that Mommy Millionaire does not lie and presents women entrepreneurs with the honest truth. While this book is useful for any business owner, this is an especially good read for entrepreneurs who have or …
Entrepreneur Goddess – http://www.katieskow.com/

North Carolina Business Owner Wins Make Mine A Million $ Business …
Carolina Newswire (press release) – NC,USA
“I hope Leah’s success story will encourage other women entrepreneurs to pursue their dreams.” Make Mine a Million $ Business™, a program of Count Me In and …
See all stories on this topic

Woman Launches Community Bank Among the Giants
New York Sun – United States
It was her father, a Greek entrepreneur, who first encouraged her to enter banking, she said. “When I got the job offer, he said, ‘Elena, this is something …
See all stories on this topic

£10m fund launched for female entrepreneurs
Startups.co.uk – UK
A £10m fund has been established to finance loans, training and mentorship for women entrepreneurs in the UK . Women can apply to borrow up to £30000 in any …
See all stories on this topic

Palestinian Businesswomen to Host Top US Executives
istockAnalyst.com – Salem,OR,USA
The BWF aims to create a better environment for women entrepreneurs and executives as well as build the pipeline of future business women leaders. …
See all stories on this topic

Women to reap SADC free trade rewards
By Palapye.com
GABORONE – Women entrepreneurs have been urged to produce goods and services that meet international standards in order to enjoy the benefits of the upcoming SADC Free Trade Area (FTA). Speaking at the ninth womens exposition on Monday, …
Palapye.com News Blog – http://palapye.wordpress.com

Africa Zou Chu Qu, Chinese for swarm out
African Path – Minneapolis,MN,USA
Against all odds, numerous African women have developed businesses – some of them world class. A Nigerian entrepreneur makes children’s clothes, …
See all stories on this topic

Good news this week: I have had initial conversations with a fascinating woman who now lives in Singapore and is about to move to Africa. She has agreed to be our in-the-field entrepreneur ambassador in Africa. I am so excited that we will start getting live reports from a real person living it now. Great stuff!

If any of you women worldwide are interested in being an in-the-field ambassador for SmartWoman Guides, please contact me. I would like to have at least one ambassador in each country where SmartWoman is read. So, my web stats tell me that we have visitors from Russia, Thailand,  Japan, China, Sweden, England,  Australia and others.  Ladies? Any takers? Let me know!

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

This might seem fringe or weird to you, but to me, it’s deeply personal. Some I meet believe that work and personal matters shouldn’t be mixed. But, truthfully, there is no way to separate these things. Nor, in my opinion, is there any advantage to doing so.

I mention my personal journey on this entrepreneur’s blog to help others make their own connections between who they are at their essential core and how they behave in their business and in the world. In my way of thinking, your faith, whatever that is, shapes you and colors all that you do.

My teacher speaks of patience, love, forgiveness, and the need for the spirit of the Divine Mother to be reignited in this world. I strive to run my business affairs with these values in mind. Traditional cut-throat methods aren’t appropriate if you start with a compassionate viewpoint. I cannot say that I never lose my patience or become judgemental. I am human. But, ultimately, I work with the idea of service and shared benefit at the core of my goals.

Think for a moment of what your mother does for you. She cares for you and she loves you unconditionally. When you were a baby, she fed you, she taught you, and she kissed your wounds to made them feel better. As you grew to an adult, she was there as a confidante and supportive energy. The spirit of generous giving and nurturing is at the heart of a loving mother.

If you did not experience a loving mother, you know the damage it has caused you. Imagine the damage you can do by not conducting your business affairs honestly. Imagine the pain that negligence or disregard can deliver. A surgeon who drinks on the job, a teacher who molests their students, a huge corporation that pollutes rather than conduct their business gently on the earth. These are all examples of people who did not allow their faith to help guide their business choices.

I am not suggesting that anyone preach to another about what they should believe. Rather, I am suggesting that it is correct and good to consider and incorporate your beliefs into your business model. Become aware of how you touch others with your work. To live a passionate life means to have your heart engaged and an engaged heart is fueled by faith. Discover and embrace yours. Because, frankly, I can hardly wait to see the magnificent things you will do.

Love to you. Thank you for visiting and supporting me.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

Something I’ve noticed, though, in doing interviews recently, is that I say certain words and phrases a lot. As a writer and an interviewer, that can be a mistake. I am doing what I can to become aware of these habits and learn to incorporate new, fresh phrases. It only takes a time or two of being recorded to notice when I laugh too loud, or say “um” too much, or repeat “wonderful” a dozen times. If you haven’t ever recorded yourself, you might try it. It’s a real eye-opener.

What about you? Have you noticed anything like this about yourself? Are there things you do habitually that could be refreshed? I bet there are. Are you aware of the words you use regularly? Is it worthwhile to find a few new turns of phrases? Of course it is, and, that creative process of seeking out alternatives will be invigorating.

Game for the day: Pick a word you use often and find a dozen alternatives and begin using them.

Here’s mine: Wonderful can also be

• fantastic
• great
• stupendous
• amazing
• impressive
• fabulous
• incredible
• mind blowing
• out of this world (yes, you can find slang too—have some fun with it. It’s a game!)
• Dyno-mite!
• awe inspiring

I could probably go on, but you get the point, right? After single words, start examining your phrases. I have go-to phrases too. The idea is to branch out, try new things, and let the power of words really help you rather than put you in a rut. You’ll be a better writer, a more engaging speaker, and you can impress your friends with your grand vocabulary. Enjoy!

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

Click here to download…

Interview length: 18 minutes, mp3

Recently, I had the pleasure of interviewing Joy Chudacoff, a personal coach and sister blogger. We discussed how she’ll never forget that fateful day when, at 28 years old, her boss uttered three simple words to her that would alter the entire course of her work history. Joy’s story of the challenges and triumphs of her entrepreneur’s journey, from her early days 20 years ago to today, will fill you with hope and confidence.

As a coach, Joy has helped dozens of women custom shape an inspired life but they had to be willing to work at it to get there. Joy shared with me the most common issues she sees her female entrepreneur clients face and how they can be overcome. She mentioned the financial hurdles, the need for a support network, the power of working within your strengths, and last but certainly no least, how important it is to allow yourself the time and space to find your true passion.

To visit Joy’s website, go to SmartWomenSolutions.com

Join us in our conversation and allow it to help you transform your dream into a business that inspires you. Enjoy!

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

Step 1 is Cleaning Up The Loose Ends.

Loose ends can include pending email responses, technical updates, follow up phone calls, cleaning up my desk, filing, etc. It’s any bits and pieces of almost done projects and activities that are dangling. I find that this gives me a very good sense of what I still can reasonably accomplish and helps me to feel more relaxed once it’s done.

The other part of Step 1, though, is just as important. It’s time to make my confession to my self about what I am not going to realistically finish, including projects I never started. If you’re like me, sometimes you overschedule or over expect. You set up big goals that are just too much. And, surprise, surprise, you don’t get it done. That’s actually pretty understandable.

But, it’s important to acknowledge the unfinished parts of your to-do list. If you know why you didn’t get it done, admit it. Be willing to put fewer to-do items on your list for the next month. There is no shame in not getting an overly ambitious list completed. You didn’t break the law, you know! But make adjustments. Forgive yourself for not doing it and refresh. You will get more done if you pull back a little. You can always add more to your list if you have left over time, but not being able to check off something that you told yourself you’d do can be discouraging. Quit doing that to yourself.

Part 2 is Celebrating Your Victories

You are required to celebrate what you did get done. Dance around, respect your efforts, buy yourself some flowers, shout yoohoo! What did you learn? How did you improve? Who did you network with that can help your future? What system did you put in place? What steps did you take to be a success? Even if the result of these actions aren’t evident yet, celebrate that you took the steps. Steps are what lead to results.

You are not allowed to make next month’s to-do list until you celebrate your accomplishments. Sure it feels silly to cheer for yourself alone in your home office. Who cares? Do it anyway. It will raise your personal vibration, flood your brain with endorphins, and put a smile on your face. That’s the state of mind you need to be in to create your next set of goals. A winning state of mind.

Try this approach and let me know how it works for you. I bet it will!

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman