Don’t act like a spammer on Twitter. Don’t be a tool. There I said it. Lately I’ve noticed many spammer accounts (or what I consider spam) appearing on Twitter and frankly, I’m sick of it.  So, consider this my rant. I’ll try not to throw too many curse words out, but I think that beginners to Twitter need to be given a heads up on what not to do so they can work social media to their advantage.

For those of you who don’t know, Twitter is a social media community where you engage with people in 140 characters per “tweet”. It’s a great way to make friends, promote yourself, and build a brand. Yes, I use Twitter to promote myself. There is nothing wrong with that. I’m not one to say there is. But here are some things to avoid so you can take full advantage of the power of Twitter without seeming like a tool.

1.  No avatar picture or a clip art avatar, especially one unrelated to what you do

Having a bikini babe to catch attention is cool if you’re selling bikinis or if you are a model and it’s a picture of you. It’s not that cool just to catch attention for your latest MLM scheme. I don’t care if Donald Trump told you to do it, you’re fired! And, don’t you be flashing your newly bright and white teeth at me in defiance either. Real people are sick of this crap. Real people are the ones with credit cards, ok?

Even worse is the default avatar. Take the time to upload a picture because I will assume that the time you spend on your profile is the level of attention you’ll give me as a customer. Same goes for your full profile detail, including a legit website URL. Slacker = fail.

2.  All pitch and no personality

If you follow me, I go to see if I want to follow you back–I check out your tweet stream to see what you’re about. Call me old fashioned but that’s what I do. If all you ever do is promote your MLM, CPA offers, Forex, Twitter tools to get me more followers ( PLEASE have more followers than I do if you send me that in a auto DM, ok?) or XXX rated adult sites, then I will block you. I already trade index option spreads, have an account myself with Hydra Network, have plenty of great followers, and I feel secret jealousy about your porn site because I’m too old and overweight to be a webcam girl. You’d know that if you’d bothered to check my profile out first. Haven’t you seen my tweets making fun of you?

If you mention GDI, teeth whitening, making money fast with no effort, or all you ever do is retweet what you find on Mashable, you aren’t going to be fun to listen to. I love to see lots of @ replies, conversations with your followers, courteous and relatively low % sprinkling of self-promotion, and lots of great resource links and comments – quotes are ok, but I’d rather know what you say, not so much what Gandhi says. We’ve all heard that – I want to know the unique you.  Cool adds are telling me about another person on Twitter who gives great info. You gain my respect and affection (and I’ll be more likely to recommend you to someone else too) if you share the power and glory. It shows me a character trait I like.

For the record – @ replies or retweets where you list my ID and tack on your affiliate link, making it look like I either asked you for that info or am endorsing it, is a total loser technique. It’s an abuse of my influence and abuse of my friends, so cut it out. BLOCK, BLOCK, BLOCK (and on this one, I report you as a spammer too). Yeah, I admit – I have some strong feelings here…

3.  Being impersonal (if you ghost, be good at it)

If you have a snazzy spam name like MakeMoneyNow (made up – I don’t know if this is real) at least put a real person’s name in the name field. Yes, you can have a different name in your profile than you do your Twitter ID name. I do – I am @SmartWoman and my name is Vicki Flaugher. Especially if you took a class showing you how to monetize your Twitter stream, please be creative in your automation. Mix it up so at least you’re different than other people.

If you ghost, be good at it. If you are making up a persona (something I find intriguing if you do it right – look at the dogs who tweet, or the TV characters from Mad Men as an example), then be great! Act like a real person would in conversation – make jokes, share information, talk to your friends, tell us about what you’re up to, and quit using social media like a two-bit escort. Just because something makes money doesn’t mean it’s a good thing to do. Okay, what I really mean to say is do what you want, but don’t expect me to like it. And, I’m not alone in this and I actually buy lots of things online. I am your customer – please do not treat me like a moron that can’t hear the 50th time this hour of you telling me how great your product is. Where is the seduction, intrigue, respect? No where when you act that way!

Making money online is super fun and I follow fake people if they entertain me. Constantly pitching your amazing product isn’t entertaining. Don’t you see how the logic goes? If your product is really so great, would you have to pitch it incessantly? Of course not – you’d be building a list, working your backend sales funnel, providing strong value, and creating lifetime customers instead.

I am a marketer. I market online. I love it, too and am not ashamed of the way I conduct my business. I use online tools for my own revenue. I consult with my clients about social media, blogging, article marketing, affiliate programs, CPA offers, info product development, PPC traffic generation, and email auto-responders.

If you don’t know what any of those things that I just listed are and actually want to integrate them with authenticity and integrity into your business, give me a call. When you call, I promise I won’t offer you teeth whitening from a single Mom in Hollywood (my favorite pet peeve), a one time limited offer with lots of CAPS and !!! points in the sales copy, nor any emails that use RE: in the subject line when you’ve never sent me an email that I could possibly be responding back to. Using the internet as a tool doesn’t make you a tool. The behaviors you exhibit are what do that. And, believe me, there are plenty of tools out there already – you don’t need to be one.  Don’t act like a spammer on Twitter. There I said it!

Today I woke up excited that I was getting new toilets installed. Our 24 year old toilets finally gave up and the city has a cool program to give you new low-flow ones for free. Great, right?

A few hours have passed now, and I do have new toilets, which work like a charm. We also have a hole in the yard where the septic tank had to be uncovered and pumped out with the promise of a potential major system repair looming. Ouch.

Hmmm…..what does this have to do with being a woman entrepreneur?

Well, first off, stuff happens. I feel fortunate that my partner and I have some cash reserves to handle what comes up. If you don’t, you might want to start to build towards having some flex in your budget. Some problems can’t really be put off. Imagine your life without plumbing…not a pretty picture.

Secondly, even when you put in new bells and whistles (the toilets), you still have to deal with the major underlying systems involved. Systems are the lifeblood of a successful entrepreneur. It’s how you’re going to build your business, sustain your business, and have a life outside of your business. (If the show stops running when you take time off, that could lead to trouble. If that time off is because of a major illness, rather than the more whimsical jaunt to Italy, then you can run into some real problems.) Get your systems in order and you’ll be much better off.

Lastly, you have to have a sense of humor and let it go. Being able to calmly (and dare I say joyously?) weather the ups and downs of Life is good for your health, creativity, and relationships, all of which you need in full working order to attract the success you deserve.

I love my new toilets and I am hopeful that any other repairs will be minimal. Regardless, I am most grateful that I have developed a point of view that lets me bend with the breeze. So, what about you—how do you deal with the challenges of Life? I’d love to hear your story.

Vicki Flaugher

p.s. I almost forgot to say-don’t forget the power of delegating. I am definitely glad I was not the one who had to stand knee deep in mud and…uh, stuff…to get this problem under control.