Thought you’d all enjoy an interview I did recently with Adventures to Transformation coach Karen Hodges, at Synthesis Coaching. She asks me about my mid life transformation, the time right before I became a full time entrepreneur, and the process I applied to get through it.

As some of you may know, I talk about “The Second Coming of Age”, this magical time that 35-55 year old women experience. It’s an awakening of Spirit, a shifting of priorities, and I’ve yet to meet a women who doesn’t go through it. It’s scary, it’s enlightening, and it changes us.

My own Second Coming of Age is why I started my online life, it’s why I am where I am today, and it’s something that, once I learned how to deal with it, has enriched me. This is the meat of what we talk about during this 15 minute interview.

I hope it can give you some insight on how to manage your own transformation. Here’s to love, life, and happiness!

Click on the link below to go to Karen’s site and listen to the interview:

SmartWoman Vicki Flaugher interview with Karen Hodges

Sometimes online you might want to wander outside your brand. Maybe the latest political issue has you steamed and you want to engage in political debate. Or, maybe a new life passion is bubbling up inside you and the audience or persona you want to create from just don’t fit well into your current brand. What to do? Here are some suggestions:

Consider creating a new website with a new URL

If the new concept is wildly different than your current one, consider creating a completely new website. Don’t attempt to fold in too many disparate ideas into one site. The search engines don’t like it and your current fans will get confused or potentially offended. Managing multiple websites takes a little effort, but it’s not too bad, especially if you have to do what you have to do. Love wants what it wants, so don’t be afraid to break out just because of a little extra work.

To ensure that the two identities online don’t get crossed (like when the ultra conservative moms you cater to discover your 1-900 chat line), be sure to choose private registration for the new domain so your Whois site info is not public or easily searchable.  Be careful where you put your given name or perhaps create a proper legal pseudonym and use it instead. You can do a similar thing by using a company name. Although somewhere your name may come up, it takes a lot of effort to find it. The goal here isn’t to be nefarious but to build in a little distance between your two personas. A determined person will figure it out, so pretty much realize that it’s only a speed bump but these steps will help.

Consider coming clean and living out loud

You can choose to navigate a change gradually and openly or even announce and leverage a radical one. You can use that announcement as a one time publicity stunt or to launch a formal re-branding PR campaign. If, for instance, you use yourname.com as your website and you want the final result of your change to still be the real you, then you have to decide how you are going to “come out” (so to speak).

The best way, generally speaking, to communicate an emotionally driven personal transformation, is to tell an emotionally charged story. People forgive and accept some of the most diverse ideas placed right next to each other when told through a sincere, human emotional story. Take some time to craft your message, explain your choices without sounding patronizing or rationalizing, and drop the pander. Tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. Have enough respect for your audience to let them decide instead of trying to manipulate them into thinking a certain way.

I don’t want you to believe that you won’t lose some (or even all) of your current audience, but you might be surprised. If you’ve been sincere, explained your situation, and left it to the audience to choose, you could end up with a very supportive fan base who is fascinated with the real you. That’s kinda cool, isn’t it?

What it gets down to is this – just do it. Whether you’re graceful about it or not, ultimately it doesn’t matter. Don’t let what other people might think of you or the past success you’ve enjoyed be a barrier to you expressing yourself honestly and fully. Life is too long to live it halfheartedly. Go for it!

So, do you have an online re-branding experience you can share? How did you do it? What worked and what didn’t? Please comment below!

My favorite definition I found for epiphany is this: “a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.” . You might call it your “a-ha” moment. Whatever you call it, I believe we need these moments in great measure.

Every day we have the opportunity to use the mundane actions we do all the time in our business and our lives to gain a sudden and deep insight. I personally value epiphanies tremendously but I realized that I haven’t had that many lately. I’ve decided to spend this month allowing them, welcoming them and I’ll be sure to report back what I find out.

So – today I am asking the question and standing ready to shift, radically and completely. You wanna play too?

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I find myself at a crossroads. For some time now, I’ve blogged about the how-to for women entrepreneurs. I can honestly say that I’ve done that with a loving and well-meaning heart. I’ve shared what I know, my point of view, and the many experts I have met. I have enjoyed my work.

But, here’s the deal – I feel like a fraud.

You see, I have a confession to make. I haven’t yet seen the success I wish I had, the success I’d like you to have. It doesn’t feel right to blog about something I barely feel I know.

So, SmartWoman Guides is shifting – today, now.

From now on, I am not going to hand out advice or words of wisdom about going this place, or doing that thing. I’m not going to assert anything for you. I am going to speak to you from my heart, from the place I’m at as I focus, change, and dare I say it – mention the elephant in the room.

What elephant, you ask? Like many of you I have met, I have a tendency to give to others first. Instead of nurturing myself, honoring my intuition, and taking time for my inner dialogue, I keep giving. Service is important, but, as I have said so many times, you put on your own oxygen mask first. This, I guess, is my way of doing that.

I pledge to offer a more intimate and deeply honest revelation of myself to you. I will allow and fully own my thoughts and feelings about finding my way in this world, making a living, sharing my gifts. I will let example be the teacher. If there is anger, fear or sadness, I will not hide it behind a mask of optimism. I will express it and release it hoping that, by giving myself permission to be more real, you too will do so in your own life.

This blog will shift more toward the inspirational and motivational issues of being a whole, contributing woman in this wonderful world I call home. I’ll discuss life balance, finding pleasure, discovering purpose and how I’m doing outrageous things to move myself forward.

The “professional marketer” in me is screaming bloody murder, saying “Don’t make this all about you! Nobody wants to hear that! People want to hear about what’s in it for them. They don’t care about YOU.” I acknowledge my approach won’t appeal to everyone. I pray that you will discover something you can relate to here. If not, then I thank you for your support up until now and bid you farewell and best wishes.

But, if there is anything I can take away from my SmartWoman Guides experience so far, it is this – you, fine reader, are an excellent person. You have a wealth of knowledge, a depth of experience, and an amazing ability to touch the heart of the matter. I feel without a shadow of doubt that I am in such fine company as I welcome this renewed commitment to the exploration of Life that I cannot possibly lose. I am among friends and I feel blessed.

My highest hope for this experience between us is that each of us learns our path, that we walk it through self-reliance, and that we are a comfort to each other as we find our way. So, I am retiring the “teacher” mode and am going to just express Vicki, with all her glorious quirks, pitfalls, and attributes. I will be honored for you to just express YOU too -not the roles you play, but the real Self inside. Consider this your official invitation.

Thank you for everything!

Vicki

Lately I’ve noticed some interesting changes about my motivation. I find that when I watch a lot of doom and gloom news, I lose my steam. It’s also easy to realize how much time I could waste away if I watch TV during my work day. So, I figured you might be facing these same issues too and wanted to offer some suggestions to help.

1.  Get TiVo or DVR

Rather than completely deny yourself your favorite daytime shows, try recording them to watch during a non-work time. Not only can you reduce your overall viewing time by fast forwarding through the commercials (well, except that adorably funny E-trade baby), you can also avoid interrupting your work day.

By recording these guilty pleasures and time shifting your viewing, you also avoid the resentment that comes from having to give them up completely.  It’s an effect I call the “bonbon jealousy effect” – that sinking feeling that if you were only more successful or rich or clever that you could be sitting on the sofa eating bonbons watching Oprah instead of working. Well, by using TiVo or DVR, you can have the best of both worlds!

2.  Do a mind-body connection reality check

When you are listening to the latest breaking report about an airplane crash, or war, or economic recession, take a deep breath and ask yourself how you are feeling. Are you jittery? Depressed? Anxious? Tense? Is this the feeling that you want people to feel working with you? If not, don’t choose it for your own environment either. You will absorb that negativity and you will pass it on, either to your kids, or your partner, or your clients. Dump the gloom.

I understand that you need to stay informed. But, do you have to watch hours of news about a catastrophe? You’d be better off taking action, like donating to the cause, or spending the precious time you have in this life with your family. And, more importantly, how much time do you spend watching uplifting, inspirational stories or maybe light  hearted comedys? Shift the ratio a bit and you will notice it’s easier to work and stay happy. I personally recommend the laughing babies you can find on YouTube. Major medicinal value for your spirit…

3.  Online video viewing counts as “TV”

I can’t tell you how many people I talk to that say they don’t “watch TV” but they spend hours online watching videos. Even a Twitter freak like me recognizes the perils of too much computer surfing. Not only will your arms, fingers, and shoulders begin to ache from overuse, but your eyes will start twitching and you’ll feel exhausted from viewing a glowy box for so long.

Commit to a window of time when you’re allowed to watch and absolutely, without exception, schedule time unplugged too. Sunshine is a marvelous thing and long distance viewing (versus close in like when you are watching your computer monitor) will preserve your eyesight. And, the life balance that occurs from incorporating various methods of interfacing with other people will help keep you on track.

My last thought is this – go for the good stuff. Watching reruns just to zone out isn’t really the best option. If a movie you’ve already watched comes on at 2 am when you have insomnia, don’t just zone out – make it special. Pop some popcorn, drink some wine, whatever, but refuse to participate in passive entertainment unless you are living it up when you do it – especially if it’s been there done that material.

Entertainment and distraction is an essential part of staying creative. Numbing yourself out with video isn’t part of that equation. So, pass the remote and truly enjoy what you watch. It can be fun and it can be part of a work at home life.

Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher, the  original SmartWoman

As a professional entrepreneur, it’s important to hear what your market is telling you. Even if it hurts your feelings, or is an unexpected reaction, or you don’t quite understand it, you have to listen and respond as appropriate. Your audience knows what they want and you must respect that.

For the last week or so, I added an opt-in gift report for female entrepreneurs. Many clicked on the link to see it yet very few downloaded it. Several women who did have told me they enjoyed it very much, but I feel disappointed that so many didn’t even try it. 

For the record, I believe in a zero tolerance SPAM policy. I do not share, sell, or rent my contacts. I am a die hard advocate for permission-only based marketing. I do not want you to feel anything other than confidence, joy and anticipation when you visit this community.

So, why did my report not get downloaded?

• It could be a matter of trust–perhaps I have not built enough trust yet with my audience for them to believe I would not mishandle their personal information.
• It could be a matter of value–perhaps the perceived value of the offered gift was not sufficient to compensate my audience for what they felt were giving.
• It could be a matter of relevance–perhaps what I was writing wasn’t pertinent to those visiting.
• It could be….something else that I have not identified.

Truth is, I don’t know for sure. But, I know I need to do something to fix it. And, I would highly recommend that, if you have a product, service, or offer that hasn’t worked out like you’d hoped, that you take a moment to adapt to what your market is telling you and fix it as well.

To be successful as an entrepreneur, you have to be willing to ask the tough questions. Even as painful as it might be to see something you created fail, you have to be willing to respond to the feedback you receive. You are doing yourself and your clients a great disservice if you don’t.

In the spirit of building trust and providing value, I have made my report available without having to provide your name and email, in case that was a contributing factor. Simply click on the link below to read the report.

The Emerging Woman Entrepreneurs Top 10 Questions to Ask (and Answer) Today 

I hope you enjoy it. I intended it to be useful. I sincerely hope it adds value to your experience, but you’ll have to decide that for yourself. I am open to hearing all feedback. Let me know what you think so I can grow, ok? I’d be grateful for your help.

Thank you for visiting here. I could not do what I do without you.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

p.s. If any of the readers here went to the report page and decided not to sign up, I’d be delighted to know why. You can email me privately or post here. It’s important to me that I provide trust, value, and relevance here. Your feedback is welcomed and encouraged.