Many internet marketers, and often salespeople in general, use a heavy fear based method when trying to close sales.  I’ve railed about it before, but that’s not the purpose of this post. In fact, after reading “A Good Hard Kick” recently, I have actually come to a bit of new revelation about fear based selling.

I used to say I didn’t want a marketer to sell me their product by invoking fear. I avoided using a fear based technique for sales myself, probably at the cost of losing sales (because it does work) but it just wasn’t worth trading in my integrity for money. Now, I’ve got a more clear idea.

Creating nightmare scenarios where I’m a loser if I don’t buy, my friends will desert me (assuming such a loser as me has any friends to begin with), my dog will run away, life will pass me by and things will never get better doesn’t work on me. I hate it – I resent any marketers that do it, I unsubscribe from their email lists, and I shun them for being mean, selfish, and cold. OK, I admit I have issues, but still…it’s how I feel. No, I am not afraid of these marketers but rather it hurts my heart to see their dirty mind tricks played on people.

But, deep inside, at least for the problem I am trying to solve, I feel pain about the issue. So, instead of highlighting fear, the Great What-If, when someone fully acknowledges my pain about something, I feel heard. I feel understood. And, if what they are offering relieves my pain, I’m buying it without even asking the price.

So, getting to know your customer well enough that you know what brings tears to their eyes and is breaking their heart (or their budget) rather than trying to leverage the Boogie Man scenario works better for me. I like helping people find relief. I don’t like scaring them. Maybe it’s just reframing, but I don’t think so. As a business person, if you’ve taken the time to really get to know your customers, you gain a connection that builds trust, rapport, and credibility – that’s what makes sales and loyal life long customers ultimately anyway, right?

My favorite part of it is how they feel after. How do you feel when someone gives you what you need to finally have that throbbing, white hot pain go away? I feel saved, grateful, ready to be alive again, and I attribute that relief to them. If their product doesn’t work, I usually say “Well, at least they tried to help me feel better.” When someone uses fear, I buy, I try their product and if it doesn’t fix my fear, I blame them. I feel exploited. I don’t say “Well, at least they tried to scare me.” I may not be able to print what I’d actually say, but I can assure you it’s not a thank you.

So – fear based versus white hot pain relief – how do you feel about it? Shout out below in the comment section!

Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher, CEO