I find myself at a crossroads. For some time now, I’ve blogged about the how-to for women entrepreneurs. I can honestly say that I’ve done that with a loving and well-meaning heart. I’ve shared what I know, my point of view, and the many experts I have met. I have enjoyed my work.

But, here’s the deal – I feel like a fraud.

You see, I have a confession to make. I haven’t yet seen the success I wish I had, the success I’d like you to have. It doesn’t feel right to blog about something I barely feel I know.

So, SmartWoman Guides is shifting – today, now.

From now on, I am not going to hand out advice or words of wisdom about going this place, or doing that thing. I’m not going to assert anything for you. I am going to speak to you from my heart, from the place I’m at as I focus, change, and dare I say it – mention the elephant in the room.

What elephant, you ask? Like many of you I have met, I have a tendency to give to others first. Instead of nurturing myself, honoring my intuition, and taking time for my inner dialogue, I keep giving. Service is important, but, as I have said so many times, you put on your own oxygen mask first. This, I guess, is my way of doing that.

I pledge to offer a more intimate and deeply honest revelation of myself to you. I will allow and fully own my thoughts and feelings about finding my way in this world, making a living, sharing my gifts. I will let example be the teacher. If there is anger, fear or sadness, I will not hide it behind a mask of optimism. I will express it and release it hoping that, by giving myself permission to be more real, you too will do so in your own life.

This blog will shift more toward the inspirational and motivational issues of being a whole, contributing woman in this wonderful world I call home. I’ll discuss life balance, finding pleasure, discovering purpose and how I’m doing outrageous things to move myself forward.

The “professional marketer” in me is screaming bloody murder, saying “Don’t make this all about you! Nobody wants to hear that! People want to hear about what’s in it for them. They don’t care about YOU.” I acknowledge my approach won’t appeal to everyone. I pray that you will discover something you can relate to here. If not, then I thank you for your support up until now and bid you farewell and best wishes.

But, if there is anything I can take away from my SmartWoman Guides experience so far, it is this – you, fine reader, are an excellent person. You have a wealth of knowledge, a depth of experience, and an amazing ability to touch the heart of the matter. I feel without a shadow of doubt that I am in such fine company as I welcome this renewed commitment to the exploration of Life that I cannot possibly lose. I am among friends and I feel blessed.

My highest hope for this experience between us is that each of us learns our path, that we walk it through self-reliance, and that we are a comfort to each other as we find our way. So, I am retiring the “teacher” mode and am going to just express Vicki, with all her glorious quirks, pitfalls, and attributes. I will be honored for you to just express YOU too -not the roles you play, but the real Self inside. Consider this your official invitation.

Thank you for everything!

Vicki

I have had the pleasure recently to join a mastermind group and intend to join another. It has been a great experience so far and has already helped my focus, determination, and work output. I thought you might appreciate some resources to review this idea, to get you thinking about how you can benefit from joining in with others to build your business.

The articles are short and designed to give you a taste. It won’t take much time for you to plant the seed in your mind and let it grow. When you allow others in to help, the creativity and power grows exponentially. I regret that I have waited so long to do it, and encourage you to take action. I mean it when I  say – Together, we are stronger!

Passion For Business: What Is a Master Mind Group and How to Create?:

MasterMind Group Planning Guide ebook

Some Thoughts and Different Approches to Running a Mastermind Group

Evan Carmichael’s Mastermind Resources Blogsite

Tips by Wendy Maynard at Kinetic Ideas

Meet and Grow Rich: How to Easily Create and Operate Your Own “Mastermind” Group for Health, Wealth, and More Book by Joe Vitale and Bill Hibbler

By Vicki Flaugher, CEO of SmartWoman Guides

Many modern entrepreneurs brag about their ability to “multi-task”. They see themselves as expert jugglers, constantly on the go, with their attention here, there, and everywhere. Somehow they think that speed applied to as many different channels as they can muster will skyrocket their success forward.

For awhile, it seems to work, this hyperactive and quite delicate balance of spinning so many plates at a time. Like a circus act doing magic tricks, it seems entertaining and perhaps even the right thing to do. But eventually, something happens to nudge the balancing act – sometimes even just one small thing -  and it all comes crashing down. The havoc wreaked by an even larger nudge, such as a major illness or loss of a family member, not only stops the spinning, but breaks the china plates to the point of no return.

I want to be perfectly clear – mult-tasking is a myth, a fabricated concept that isn’t even true in reality, and, more importantly, is probably hurting your business. It might even be threatening your health and safety.

From an article entitled The Myth of Multitasking by Christine Rosen, in the New Atlantis, here’s some information for you to ponder:

“In 2005, the BBC reported on a research study, funded by Hewlett-Packard and conducted by the Institute of Psychiatry at the University of London, that found, ‘Workers distracted by e-mail and phone calls suffer a fall in IQ more than twice that found in marijuana smokers.’ “

“One study by researchers at the University of California at Irvine monitored interruptions among office workers; they found that workers took an average of twenty-five minutes to recover from interruptions such as phone calls or answering e-mail and return to their original task.”

“Discussing multitasking with the New York Times in 2007, Jonathan B. Spira, an analyst at the business research firm Basex, estimated that extreme multitasking—information overload—costs the U.S. economy $650 billion a year in lost productivity.”

What we perceive as multitasking is actually a very, very fast switching between singular events, not doing multiple events at one time. If you change back and forth quickly enough, you may interpret those events to be simultaneous, but your brain does not. It’s having to move it’s attention and its firing neurons in a rapid fire, shallow manner to keep up. Like a form of chosen ADD,  we order our brain to keep up with so many points of information that we get fatigued, drained, and we greatly hamper our memory capacity.

And if we multi-task while we are trying to learn? Ms. Rosen cites another source here:

“In one recent study, Russell Poldrack, a psychology professor at the University of California, Los Angeles, found that ‘multitasking adversely affects how you learn. Even if you learn while multitasking, that learning is less flexible and more specialized, so you cannot retrieve the information as easily.’ “

So , what are you doing right now? Is the bell of a new incoming email sounding, is your phone vibrating, is the TV on, or maybe you’re also listening to a training audio? Do you become panic stricken as you contemplate a life doing one thing at a time, with deep attention and focus? Do you have a million and one reasons why multitasking is good for you? Research isn’t on your side promoting that view, so perhaps an adult  “time out” is in order? It’s something to think about,  one thought at a time…

Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

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I learned many lessons about Life from my beloved little dog, Killer. A constant companion and devoted friend for over 20 years, when he passed last year, I struggled. It has taken some time for the heartache to finally fade back to be replaced by fonder memories of walks in the woods, the perpetually amusing antics, and “The Little Man’s” joyful “Hollywood smile”. I thought it appropriate on Memorial Day to share one of my favorite memories.

Killer loved chocolate covered donuts. I mean, LOVED. He would do nearly anything for them. Yes, sadly, some dogs (about 10%) die from eating chocolate but Killer was not one of them. He would run around like a pre-school youngster on a sugar buzz high when he ate them, but that was about the worst of it. He could not get enough of those yummy things.

Now, Killer was a dog of distinctly discerning taste. He didn’t prefer just any old chocolate donut, no. Those waxy little minis that your mother put in your lunchbox would not do. His donuts of choice were Entemman’s and they were full sized and deluxe. Only the best would satisfy Killer. He wouldn’t eat any other kind.

One night, a showdown was brewing between Killer and my human companion, Kevin. There was only one donut left in the box. Kevin loved chocolate donuts too and knew how Killer felt about them. We both treat our pets like people, but actual people still get priority, so, politically speaking, that last donut was Kevin’s. The battle of wills was on.

As Kevin claimed the last donut, Killer became single mindedly transfixed. He would not–could not–take his eyes off that donut. Kevin started playfully egging Killer on a bit, making a real show of it, humming, saying “Oooh, MMMM, this looks so good”. The good-hearted teasing only amplified Killer’s resolve. He intended to get some of that donut.

Killer tried everything. He flashed his award winning smile. He sat and stayed at attention with perfect, well-behaved precison. He did each of his trained tricks one after another, hoping for a reward. He gave it his all. He resorted to relentlessly following Kevin around, his little doggie mind working as fast as it could on a strategy. 

Finally, as Kevin plopped onto the sofa to enjoy his snack, Killer launched his plan. He scurried up Kevin’s outstretched body from the floor when Kevin’s feet touched the ground, making a full speed beeline for his goal. Kevin was so surprised (and hysterically laughing) that he could barely recover. He instinctively reacted by pulling his arms (and the hand that held the tasty morsel) over his head at the edge of the sofa, where that chocolate prize now hung inches from the floor.

Killer immediately hopped off Kevin and dove for his heart’s desire, now enticingly available to him at his 12″ height. Victory was within reach! Kevin realized his treat was in true peril and snatched it back to safety just as Killer was reaching up to take a bite.

This all happened within just a few seconds, and we were in tears from laughter. Moral of the story: Kevin was so impressed with Killer’s, well, doggedness, that he gave that scruffy little canine a full half of the last donut. Killer was officially dubbed “The Mighty Donut Hunter” that day and we got a story that still makes us laugh. And, most importantly, I witnessed a real life, real time demonstration of passion, focus, and determination.

So, I ask you. As an entrepreneur, what drives your passion and determination? What are you willing to give your complete, focused attention to? What is YOUR chocolate donut?…

God speed and love to all who have gone before.
Together, we are stronger.

Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman