I am a firm believer in mentors. I use the word guru in a playful and partly kidding way (well, except for my actual spiritual guru), but I know of a handful of amazing people I would consider at that level, a business or marketing or sales guru. Some of mine include Seth Godin, Jay Abraham, Brian Tracy, and others.

It is usually easy for me to feel comfortable recognizing others with more expertise, ability, and experience. I value interacting with people farther along a path than I am or with a more refined and capable skill set. I like having people around me that know more than I do. I’d rather had a “better me” than a “mini me” to work together with. Here’s where I have to digress, though.

Just because someone is a guru does not mean that what they suggest to do is always the very best thing for you to actually do.  It’s tempting to not question someone who is so far ahead of where you are that you can’t hardly see where they’re coming from, but it’s not a good course of action. You have to incorporate the information into your own situation. You have to evaluate if their course of action resonates with your own goals and values.

What I like to do is use guru wisdom as my jumping off point. I listen with an open mind, say yes to everything they are saying in the initial stages of learning, so I don’t turn a blind eye to something I really need to change or know, and then see how it all feels in my gut. I listen to my own reaction to ensure that what I choose to do is proper for me.

Sometimes a guru’s wisdom triggers a creative idea in me, a better idea. Sometimes it brings me clarity on what I don’t want to do. Sometimes it makes me realize I need to embrace some new values. Sometimes it’s exactly what I need to hear at exactly the right time and it spurs me on to action.

When a guru’s idea doesn’t seem right to me, my next step is to ask myself if there is a block in my mindset which is preventing me from seeing the wisdom in the guru’s words. Just like riding a bike felt strange the first time, sometimes new ideas need to be experienced a bit before they feel right. The whole point of a blind spot is that we can’t see there. And, blind spots are definitely worth eliminating.

With all this in mind, if an idea doesn’t work for me, I don’t use it, regardless of the high status the person who suggested it may have. It takes courage to move counter to someone more successful, or happier, or smarter, or whatever. But, ultimately, you have to look yourself in the mirror. You are responsible for what you choose, not them.

Gurus are people. They make mistakes like you. They may be more right more often than you are, but they are still living in the world, just like you. While you can offer them respect and attention, and you can learn amazing things from them, at the end of the day, it’s important that you unconditionallly trust the greatest guru you know - yourself.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman