Lately I’ve noticed some interesting changes about my motivation. I find that when I watch a lot of doom and gloom news, I lose my steam. It’s also easy to realize how much time I could waste away if I watch TV during my work day. So, I figured you might be facing these same issues too and wanted to offer some suggestions to help.

1.  Get TiVo or DVR

Rather than completely deny yourself your favorite daytime shows, try recording them to watch during a non-work time. Not only can you reduce your overall viewing time by fast forwarding through the commercials (well, except that adorably funny E-trade baby), you can also avoid interrupting your work day.

By recording these guilty pleasures and time shifting your viewing, you also avoid the resentment that comes from having to give them up completely.  It’s an effect I call the “bonbon jealousy effect” – that sinking feeling that if you were only more successful or rich or clever that you could be sitting on the sofa eating bonbons watching Oprah instead of working. Well, by using TiVo or DVR, you can have the best of both worlds!

2.  Do a mind-body connection reality check

When you are listening to the latest breaking report about an airplane crash, or war, or economic recession, take a deep breath and ask yourself how you are feeling. Are you jittery? Depressed? Anxious? Tense? Is this the feeling that you want people to feel working with you? If not, don’t choose it for your own environment either. You will absorb that negativity and you will pass it on, either to your kids, or your partner, or your clients. Dump the gloom.

I understand that you need to stay informed. But, do you have to watch hours of news about a catastrophe? You’d be better off taking action, like donating to the cause, or spending the precious time you have in this life with your family. And, more importantly, how much time do you spend watching uplifting, inspirational stories or maybe light  hearted comedys? Shift the ratio a bit and you will notice it’s easier to work and stay happy. I personally recommend the laughing babies you can find on YouTube. Major medicinal value for your spirit…

3.  Online video viewing counts as “TV”

I can’t tell you how many people I talk to that say they don’t “watch TV” but they spend hours online watching videos. Even a Twitter freak like me recognizes the perils of too much computer surfing. Not only will your arms, fingers, and shoulders begin to ache from overuse, but your eyes will start twitching and you’ll feel exhausted from viewing a glowy box for so long.

Commit to a window of time when you’re allowed to watch and absolutely, without exception, schedule time unplugged too. Sunshine is a marvelous thing and long distance viewing (versus close in like when you are watching your computer monitor) will preserve your eyesight. And, the life balance that occurs from incorporating various methods of interfacing with other people will help keep you on track.

My last thought is this – go for the good stuff. Watching reruns just to zone out isn’t really the best option. If a movie you’ve already watched comes on at 2 am when you have insomnia, don’t just zone out – make it special. Pop some popcorn, drink some wine, whatever, but refuse to participate in passive entertainment unless you are living it up when you do it – especially if it’s been there done that material.

Entertainment and distraction is an essential part of staying creative. Numbing yourself out with video isn’t part of that equation. So, pass the remote and truly enjoy what you watch. It can be fun and it can be part of a work at home life.

Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher, the  original SmartWoman

As we begin to move into the new year, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to accomplish in 2009. I like to take a few days of relative downtime and reflect on my goals from last year and how successful I was at achieving them as well.

In early 2008, I decided that I would work toward becoming a well-liked, highly regarded, influential maven, a connector of wonderful and varied people doing impactful and interesting things. I committed to move beyond my tendency to be introspective and reclusive, and reach out to develop a social community. I desired to do this because I felt that I needed to facilitate others’ success more actively. I did it because I saw it as a way to deeply enrich my life, both personally and professionally. And, honestly, I did  have a nagging feeling that I “should”. So, I began.

I have made tremendous strides in that arena. I moved SmartWomanGuides.com from a static site to a blog, where I encouraged two way conversation and joint venturing. I have joined a Master Mind group, attended social networking events, become a museum patron, developed a decent network on Twitter, started a radio show, and grew my list. I have met a whole array of amazing people and I am satisfied with my accomplishment toward my goal.

But, there’s another step to my goals analysis. Beyond whether I achieved the goals I set or not, I also like to reflect on how accomplishing those goals made me feel. Did I really forward my business? Did I really find the satisfaction I was seeking? Did I really even need to accomplish those particular goals to be happy? I encourage you, in this current time of outbreath, to ask yourself similar questions.

In my case, my goal of becoming a maven has had benefits that I never even imagined it would. Yes, it has forwarded my business. Yes, it has brought me satisfaction. Yes, it has made me happy. But, one of the surprise benefits is it has helped me see even more clearly my place in this world, in the universe of marketing and entrepreneurship, and the essence of my unique contribution. I needed to see that, truly embrace it. And, it was an unexpected result.

The downside of my blooming mavenship is I’m not very experienced at handling multiple demands on my time. Each offer has its own value, intrinsic to only it, and all are seemingly equally important. How does a maven choose? This is a question I have not answered and is in fact on my dance card for 2009 – how do I successfully manage a growing, ever expanding network effectively? How do I maintain and grow relationships that are worthwhile and authentic? How do I serve my network in the very best possible way? At this point, this is the work ahead for me – I’ll let you know when I figure it out.

As much as I want you to review your year and reward yourself for your successes, I also want you to really be honest about whether the goals you set really gave you what you needed (expected or otherwise). It’s easy to think we want one thing and then when we get it, it’s not really what we wanted. Go deeper into your motivations and ask, as you set resolutions and goals, if the activities that surround your goal are in your highest good. Ask if something new needs to be added, or something old needs to be let go. Be open to change and willing to let the noise fall silent as you explore your purpose and how best to proceed in achieving that purpose.

I thank all of you for being part of my own life and my business. I look forward very much to hearing what you have to say re: your goal setting/achieving experiences. Start or join the conversation below – all are welcome!

Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

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Recently, I had the pleasure of winning a complimentary business coaching session. I loved the experience and I learned something very valuable: Do what you love in business.

But is it really that easy to know what that is? I don’t think so. We all get wrapped up in shoulds, and goals, and to-do lists, and expectations that are more rooted in fantasy than action. I am a strong proponent of big ideas, so it’s not that part of it that worries me really. More the part about the “shoulds”.

How much happiness comes from living a life of “should”?  Not much, really. Sure, you’re going to pay your bills and there is happiness in that. It’s much easier to be happy with a roof over your head and a meal in your belly. But, is that the point you’re at? Are you at that edge or are you closer to the middle where you do have the financial room to reevaluate your path?

If you are on the edge, get help (If you don’t know how, email me and I’ll do what I can to get you resources). Many a triumph has come from rags to riches. But, if you’re in the middle and would like to live a more passionate life, I would like to share the trick my coach asked of me:

Make a list of what you LOVE to do.

Put aside what you think is the logical plan. Put aside what you had lined up, what you had planned to do. Put the fast track plan you’ve imagined since college down. Step away from your presuppositions. Grab a soda or a glass of wine, find some private space, and write down the things that thrill you.

Don’t worry about how you’ll make money, not yet.  Just let the ideas flow. Connect with your heart and find out what makes you gasp with joy. Be creative. Get to the center of what it is about the things that feel good to you and really hone in on what it is about those things that work so well for you. If you like helping people, define why. Is it because you enjoy facilitating the transition, the a-ha moment? Or, do you pride yourself on teaching? Maybe you like helping people simply for a sense of service. Maybe you look to defeat ignorance. Maybe you enjoy helping people to help themselves. All of these points of view can take you in a different direction.

This process may take a few days, even weeks. Take the time to do it. Getting to know yourself will give you a laser focused awareness of your needs as a business person. It will awaken your own appreciation for your skills and desires. All of this will feed into a true passion driven vision and business plan. Don’t spend time figuring out how you’re going to turn your ideas into a job. Just savor the process of getting in touch with your wow factor.

We will discuss later this week about what to do next with your list. It’s an easier process than it may seem at first. The first step is to get to know yourself and what you love. Then, we will figure out how to transform those thoughts into opportunities.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

Today is my scheduled catch up day for the month. I take a look at the goal to-do list I made at the beginning of the month, see what is in process and take steps to finish it all up before the official last day of June. It’s a two step process that includes clean up and celebration that I allow for every month. Since I have implemented it, I have achieved more, so I thought I would share it with you.

Step 1 is Cleaning Up The Loose Ends.

Loose ends can include pending email responses, technical updates, follow up phone calls, cleaning up my desk, filing, etc. It’s any bits and pieces of almost done projects and activities that are dangling. I find that this gives me a very good sense of what I still can reasonably accomplish and helps me to feel more relaxed once it’s done.

The other part of Step 1, though, is just as important. It’s time to make my confession to my self about what I am not going to realistically finish, including projects I never started. If you’re like me, sometimes you overschedule or over expect. You set up big goals that are just too much. And, surprise, surprise, you don’t get it done. That’s actually pretty understandable.

But, it’s important to acknowledge the unfinished parts of your to-do list. If you know why you didn’t get it done, admit it. Be willing to put fewer to-do items on your list for the next month. There is no shame in not getting an overly ambitious list completed. You didn’t break the law, you know! But make adjustments. Forgive yourself for not doing it and refresh. You will get more done if you pull back a little. You can always add more to your list if you have left over time, but not being able to check off something that you told yourself you’d do can be discouraging. Quit doing that to yourself.

Part 2 is Celebrating Your Victories

You are required to celebrate what you did get done. Dance around, respect your efforts, buy yourself some flowers, shout yoohoo! What did you learn? How did you improve? Who did you network with that can help your future? What system did you put in place? What steps did you take to be a success? Even if the result of these actions aren’t evident yet, celebrate that you took the steps. Steps are what lead to results.

You are not allowed to make next month’s to-do list until you celebrate your accomplishments. Sure it feels silly to cheer for yourself alone in your home office. Who cares? Do it anyway. It will raise your personal vibration, flood your brain with endorphins, and put a smile on your face. That’s the state of mind you need to be in to create your next set of goals. A winning state of mind.

Try this approach and let me know how it works for you. I bet it will!

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman