I know it’s a tough statement to suggest that bad Internet Marketers have anything in common with pedophile priests. I have friends who have experienced the ravages of pedophilia, who have had their trust broken, their bodies and minds violated and damaged, and more. It affects a person in ways which most of us can only begin to imagine. I am not, in any way, looking to downplay the negative effects of sexual abuse and it’s serious aftermath here.
But, I ask you to sit quite seriously with this potential metaphor and hear me out. This is a topic that is very important to me and one I am willing to step out on a very thin limb to discuss.
As a business coach, I have spent countless hours with people who feel hopeless, in despair, broken and downtrodden. They tell me the stories of how they have spent thousands, sometimes tens of thousands, of their hard earned dollars on learning how to market online. They sincerely pour their heart, their hope, their very souls into the techniques that are sold to them through aggressive, psychologically manipulative, and even deceptive methods. And, live events – oh, my! Some of those events are thinly disguised arm twisters ripe with pressure filled desperation! I have attended events where I felt short of breath from the palpable force being exerted in the name of the great dollar.
Hidden triggers in copywriting, tricky up-sell strategies, insulting deprecations of the customer’s character through innuendo and direct verbiage, and very very small fine print in forced continuity programs can be found just about any day you care to look. Wildly fabulous success stories, glowing testimonials, fancy clothes and cars, and more seem to be on every corner. Add in heavily reinforced personas of charismatic authority figures who will gladly share their Secret of Secrets if only you would quit being a lazy idiot and take action, and you’ve got a hot mess on your hands.
Are these customers stupid? Are they too gullible? Are they callous and selfish opportunity seekers who deserve what they get? Are they just cry babies who should shut up, toughen up and get their PhD in the School of Hard Knocks? Or, perhaps because they are legally adults, they don’t deserve or need to have anyone speaking up to protect them from these unscrupulous practices? I mean, seriously – everyone knows that adults are supposed to stand on their own two feet, take responsibility for their choices, live and learn, and quit whining, right?
I’ve actually heard marketers say that their customers should learn to protect themselves – nobody “makes” them do anything. The tricky sales copy is just helping these people make a choice. These chumps…uh, I mean customers…wanted to do what they did. Hey, they practically asked for it by being so willing to be seduced. Buyer beware, right? If you don’t want to be treated like a sheep, don’t act like one, right? Besides, that’s just how it is, it’s how it’s done. I’ve been sold a bill of goods plenty of times and I lived to tell the tale. If they didn’t buy from me, some other schmuck would be taking their money. One even told me it’s a rite of passage to be ripped off. Wow….the contempt and disregard inherent in these marketers’ behavior is beyond evident. To say that hyperbole has run rampant would be seriously understating the issue.
In all fairness, there is some truth to the call for consumer awareness here (this is where our metaphor digresses – blaming the sexual abuse victim is certainly not appropriate). Even still, in our metaphor example, consider this: Blaming the victim here isn’t really appropriate either. Anyone who has sat with a newly minted 18 year old, technically an adult in the eyes of the law, knows that deep wisdom to differentiate and maturity to detect manipulation doesn’t happen just because you are considered an adult. More over, no matter your age, if you are learning something new, especially something so intensely personal, emotional, and important as building a business, you are potentially quite gullible and very likely uninformed. You may be in a state of profound confusion about the direction of your life and, in your view, everything is on the line. Your entire identity and self worth is in the mix and the stakes are incredibly high. You could easily be considered the vulnerable at-risk party who deserves protection from these highly sophisticated, deliberate, and experienced marketing powerhouses.
Maybe these gurus don’t give a bone about the impact to your state of mind, but I’ve seen firsthand the cycle over and over. I’ve worked to help these individuals recover and begin to build again. Trust lost is not easily regained. This is not some kind of game. It’s serious business and the millions of dollars being made confirms it. Big business, big money, big stakes for everyone.
Here’s what I say – No one deserves to be taken advantage of. Period.
These fine people agree to exchange their dreams and their money to build a better life for themselves and their families. They have the trust and innocence of a child and look to a higher figure of authority to help them. When these trusting souls become disillusioned, their potential to contribute is heavily impacted. We all lose out when people are damaged and are left struggling to be good citizens in the community. Some recover and go on to achieve great things. Many do not.
Some would say these people are “adults” and shouldn’t be so trusting. They should read the fine print, should “know” better. If it sounds too good to be true, it must be, right? To this, I say a full out BULL CRAP!!!
Dubious Internet Marketing techniques are abuses of power and a violation of trust. Much like the pedophile priests who molest the children in their care, these business people are dishonoring the delicate position of power they are entrusted with. They know what they are doing and seem willing to do many questionable things to continue their practices. And, sadly, much like the apparent behavior of the Catholic Church, it is not unheard of that these same players in the industry move on to participate in the background of other Internet Marketing friends’ launches (no, it’s not all of them; no, I won’t be naming names; and, no, I am not referencing anyone specifically. This is a bigger issue than that).
Putting gossip, misinformation, and secrecy aside, there are just too many people expressing anger and resentment over being played to ignore. Strict adherence to high ethical standards is what we need in order to see the industry come clean. It’s no longer good enough that something “works”, i.e. makes money. Maybe it never was, frankly, but this issue certainly has reached a tipping point now. It’s time for everyone to benefit and no one to get pinched.
I know great Internet Marketers who have impeccable integrity. These are not the ones I am talking about and I think it’s past time for all of us to face this issue head on. As much as we might prefer to extend the benefit of the doubt, deny the problem for loyalty’s sake, hide it under the rug due to embarrassment, or keep quiet because the questionable techniques are the one we learned (and darn it, we’re going to get what we paid for), this has to stop. Today. Now.
I encourage you to unsubscribe from any and every marketer who disrespectfully calls you names, who pressures you to buy now or else, and who ridicules your efforts to make a great living online. If your gut tells you to move on, do so. If you can’t quite put your finger on the feeling but you know something isn’t right, get out of there. The less each of us tolerate this treatment when we are cognizant of it, the faster it will become less profitable for these practices to be used. We can affect a change. Abuse is not an acceptable business practice.
As a side note – thank you to all the people online who are doing it right, with integrity, fairness, compassion, and transparency. You are the shining lights.
Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher aka @Smartwoman
p.s. To read more about some of these traditional techniques, read Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini. (This is a not a paid affiliate link). Cialdini describes these techniques, why they work, and how to avoid getting caught up in them without realizing it. This book, although not inherently intended to harm people, is usually the stepping off point for many of the more serious manipulation techniques.
is one of my original marketing gurus from way back. He’s a really interesting guy and I got to go to his birthday party late last year. The picture above captured the moment (that’s me in the middle!)
