A few days ago, as I was busily working at my home office computer, I heard a loud and attention getting thud at a window looking out over my backyard. Surprised, based on the volume, that the window had not been broken, I shot up to find out what had happen.

Much to my dismay, my window was to be the final thing one of the local birds saw as it passed into the next world. As my mind raced with thoughts of helping this often welcome visitor to my backyard, within a minute or two, those thoughts were no longer pertinent to the bird. Days later, oddly enough, those thoughts still continue for me.

As much I have tried to rationalize the bird’s passing, reconciling the happenstance that occurs for all of us in this crazy world we call Life, my mind wanders to the continuity of memory – the stubborn persistence of the colors, emotions, smells, songs, circumstances, and people that have been part of both the good and seemingly less good situations of my life.

Even today I can still vividly remember the final moments of my sweet dog Killer’s life two years ago. I can still touch that well of sadness in a moment like I am standing there right now, right here. I can still recall the first time I got a raise at work over 20 years ago – the joy, the satisfaction, the excitement. It’s easy to hear a song and have an entire decade of my experience come alive in full techicolor. I am certain I am not alone in noticing the power memories can have over the present.

The trick, it would seem, is to be able to let it flow over and through you and not allow the past to overtake your vision of Now. When the past weighs more than the Now, it’s not always so great. Honestly, isn’t a heavy devotion to the past the basis of prejudice? It’s not a Now experience – it’s a decision, already made, based on the past, being pushed into the future. Sometimes it’s not even your past but rather the experiences of your parents, or your friends. Maybe it’s not even based in actual experience or any actual facts, yet the emotions stay alive.

I would be remiss to not admit that many good decisions come from past experience – that’s the essence of learning, really. But, I believe learning has to continue to retain its value. Instead of letting an up-to-date analysis of situations rule, it’s just too easy to fall back to what I’ve seen before rather than collect additional information to consider. It’s like a shorthand method to help me through the many yes-no options I have during any – dare I say, every – day. Easy to understand but relatively dangerous to do.

It’s not usually in my best interest to let a stale view of the world continue forward. I recognize that an epiphany, or even a more gradual evolution of Spirit, can’t happen if I cling to the past. To deal with this, I’ve begun using The Sedona Method to move away from being locked into a long gone emotional state, which allows me to move forward with renewed joy and hopeful insight. It’s a simple set of questions that help me to let it go. I am certain it will help me in my business, in my relationships, and my life. It’s what I’ve had to use to let the memory of that little bird fade.

So, what about you? Want to share a situation where releasing your past helped you? I’d love to hear from you.

by Vicki Flaugher, CEO of SmartWoman Guides

Who is your ideal business client? Who is it that could benefit most from your services and products? If you said “Everyone” – go back to GO and do not collect $200.

Too often, beginning entrepreneurs don’t take the time to really figure out who is their ideal business client. Even if you have an offering that can appeal to a wide audience, it’s imperative that you have a specific, clear, and quantifiable understanding of exactly who that client is.

Here are some questions to help you identify your ideal client is for your business:

• Demographic – gender, ethnicity, culture, geographic location, familial status
• Age
• Family orientation and attitudes – marital status, parents or not, traditional or alternative
• Spiritually oriented
• Where did they come to you from? – learning state (beginner/advanced),
• Are they originally referrals? – who sent them and why
• When they buy – after X amount of research, emergency/crisis basic, in advance
• What is their buying cycle? -what time of day/month/year/life circumstance
• Buying pattern – how much, how often
• Terms  – cash, credit, in house financing, monthly billing
• Common concerns
• Type of communication preferred – email, direct postal mail, phone, physical visit

Remember: Knowing clearly who your ideal client is will inform your marketing,  your website copy, your emails, your sales scripting, and everything else. Talking to your prospects and screening them and only taking on clients that fit your required profile will save you money, time, and heartache.

To listen to the SmartWoman Radio show about this topic:

There is an interesting learning model call the conscious competency model. Basically, the theory asserts that everyone goes through at least 4 stages of learning. There are some people who also add a 5th stage, although it is not as supported in study as the first 4 established stages.

You progress through the stages and you can’t skip stages but you can regress. These stages are

1.  Unconscious incompetence–where you don’t even know what you don’t know.
2.  Conscious incompetence–where you know that you don’t know but you still don’t know
3.  Conscious competence–where you know and must practice and be aware to demonstrate knowing
4.  Unconscious competence–where you no longer have to concentrate to demonstrate knowing–it has become “second nature” to you.

Where are you on your entrepreneur journey? Do you feel you even know what questions to ask to start a business? And, if you don’t even know what you don’t know, and don’t know enough to ask, how do you get started, right? It can seem difficult to conquer, but there is a way.

One of the best ways to move yourself through these stages is to have role models who have already done what you want to do. Seeking out an insightful coach or mentor, who can see through the haze you’re in and is already on the other side of it, is a way out. Even in Stage 1 when you don’t realize you are lost, you can move forward.

Your mentors can be alive or not. You can learn through observation, training tapes, direct conversations or biographies. Autobiographies are especially helpful to hear it from the source. The only thing you need is an open mind and a curious outlook. Be willling to discard past patterns and presumptions. Start with the idea that you are determined to see differently. Be willing to be shown something new, maybe even challenging, to your current paradyms.

One thing I have found helpful is to observe how your teacher teaches. Yes, what a teacher says is important, but so is how they say it. If you are learning to be a motivational speaker, you’d watch the cadence and timing of your mentor’s words. You’d observe the sequence certain types of ideas are presented in and you would watch for jokes and where they are inserted. When do they include facts? When do they include an emotional plea? If you watch enough motivational speakers you begin to see the universal patterns. These are all guideposts for you on your path. These are the types of actions that will move you through the stages sucessfully.

One final thought: you have partners in this. You are not alone in your challenges. You can come to virtual communities like this one. You can reach out to others in your local area. It’s the ones who have gone before that are inclined to reach back to you–let them. In no time at all, you’ll be doing things by second nature that you used to not even know you needed to know. It takes courage to admit you don’t know something, but it’s a natural stage and you will make it through it. I believe in you and many others do too.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman