Networking, to me, is some bit of a necessary evil. I don’t always feel so comfortable at big events with strangers, but I am working on releasing that. I do especially enjoy certain events and this last week, I went to a happy hour that was complete fun.

The event, hosted at the Four Seasons Hotel in Austin, Texas, was a philanthropy happy hour, held to promote the upcoming White Party fundraiser for LEAP/Lifeworks. It was a garden party full of drop dead gorgeous people who are just as beautiful inside as they are on the outside. Everyone in attendance was a direct volunteer or financial supporter of the LEAP organization and I was blown away by the quality of individuals there.

I was equally impressed with the organizers themselves. Pictured above in the middle is Brett Barnes, the Executive director of Lifeworks. Lifeworks’ mission is to transition youth and families from crisis to safety and success with education, housing resources, job training, life skills, and more. LEAP is one of their umbrella programs that connects executives and business people to Lifeworks via fund raisers, volunteer opportunities, and more.

So, I partied for a cause. I met some great people. I connected with other like minded social entrepreneurs and conscious philanthropists that see compassion as a prerequisite to doing great business. I felt like I was among “my people”. Networking isn’t so bad after all…

Tonight, I am kicking off the next teleseminar series called Passionate Marketing Makeover.

Session #1 is about reviewing what you currently have set up for your business as well as reviewing what systems you need.

Here are a list of the systems we’ll be covering:

• Sales systems

New leads

Sales scripting

Activating old leads

Upsell/downsell

Customer service

• Adminstration systems

Accounting

Business model

Web maintenance

Personnel

Investments

• Communication systems

Email

Snail mail

Follow up

Managing CEO access

• Referral systems

Referrals as part of your sales

Referrals as part of your marketing

Developing a referral culture within your business

• Marketing systems

Online

Offline

Networking

Affiliate program

• Growth systems

Joint ventures

New products

New markets

Leveraging your expertise

Personal development and the value of mentors

This should give you a little taste of what we’ll be discussing…

If you’d like to sign up for the weekly sessions, it’s very affordable and fun. Click here: Passionate Marketing Makeover Series

Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

follow me on Twitter: SmartWoman

I am challenged by making small talk. When I go to social gatherings, I have to force myself to circulate, introduce myself, and keep a conversation going past “What do you do?”. I find that I want to go deeper, to get to the know the person more, to move past social niceties and really talk about something meaningful and real. So often, social networking events seem pitchy and fake, and I just don’t enjoy that.

I know there are books about networking, and I’ve read many of them, but I have not yet gotten over the discomfort of the whole thing. Earlier this year, I decided I would do it anyway, get myself out there, and simply connect. I’m here to say, it’s been so totally worth it. And, since I know I am not the only one who faces this challenge, here are some tips that I use to make it all work.

• Be willing to go alone to the event.
  It’s easy, especially if you’re nervous, to use the person you already know, that comes with you to an event, as a crutch. Make the mental note that your new friends, the ones you don’t know yet, are there waiting for you. Being alone at a party also attracts the kind people, the ones who naturally reach out to others, to come say hello to you. Those are the types you want to meet.
   
• Ask questions.
  You don’t want to come off as an FBI secret agent interrogator, but when you don’t know what to say, ask a question. Getting people to talk about themselves is flattering and will give you further information on what you can talk about next. Notice the words a person uses, the speed of their speech, their preferences, but don’t ever quit listening to what they are saying. Hear them with directed attention. Don’t just be formulating your next question. Really care about the answer and you will garner friends. And, when they come back with their own questions, be ready to talk about something interesting, memorable and personal. Be transparent, and talk about things you value. Your business card has all your business info on it – people need to meet YOU. Let them get to know you.
   
• Attend physical meetups of your online social communities.
  Be sure to have your social media contact info on your business card. Give people who know you via email, Twitter, Facebook, forums, and other social online communities a way to connect your online persona with the real live you. My name is Vicki Flaugher when I introduce myself at gatherings, but I am SmartWoman online. Connect the dots so people will realize who you are. The ability to make a deeper connection more quickly and easily is just one more reason to have a current picture on your online profiles, too. I’ve been recognized in public from that and I had an immediate rapport with the person who recognized me because of our online history together. Because of that, we didn’t have to start from square one building our relationship further.
   
• Connect with connectors.
  One of the easiest and fastest ways to build a stong network is to seek out and meet connectors, people who are the center of influence for a larger group. Mavens who naturally facilitate connections for others can be an amazing resource and are usually personable, easy to get to know, and extremely helpful. It’s in their blood, and it’s something they do naturally. If that doesn’t describe you, then make friends with a maven. They will do some of the heavy lifting for you in making great connections. One word of caution: Don’t try to be friends with people you don’t like. If you don’t click with someone, even if they have thousands of uber powerful friends, don’t force a relationship. It will come back to bite you and you will end up on a black list somewhere. Let your natural energetic attractiveness help draw the right individuals to you – it will feel right, you’ll enjoy the interaction, and it will work. If it doesn’t, there’s a good reason. Move on to someone else. Your perfect connector is out there.
   
• If there’re not any events happening, host one.
  One of the best ways to network is to host an event. People seek you out to thank you, they introduce themselves, and they appreciate your service. You don’t hardly have to reach out at all, and you can use the guise of checking on your guests to interject yourself into smaller group conversations. Do this skillfully and you will begin being seen as a connector, and others will be drawn to network with you. Working the mojo from both angles is very effective. Giving to others, being charitable with your time, being willing to host an event, will come back to you in goodwill.

I  hope these tips help you. If you have others, please post them in the comments section.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

follow me at http://twitter.com/smartwoman

I believe that the best answers, in your business and your personal life, come from well-constructed questions. The more clear we get about our connection to the real motive behind what we do and what might really help us get there, the better off we are. The more our questions reflect that clarity, the better answers we will receive.

When we create and ask a well-constructed question, it feels like a guitar string being plucked inside our bodies. A vibration that sings “Yes, that’s it. That’s what I want to know” wells up within you. Don’t be worried you won’t know it or feel it when you hear it. You will. Just listen. And, prepare yourself for a freely given and honest answer.

Answers have to be freely accepted. “No” is an answer. “I don’t know” is an answer. And, “Yes, I could help you but I am not going to” is also answer. These aren’t necessarily the answers we want to get, but we must keep an open mind and heart about hearing real answers. Don’t ever worry that you shouldn’t have asked. It’s ok to ask. Just remember that it takes true devotion to see the silver lining in your disappointments, but you will probably find one if you look for it.

As much as hearing the answer we were looking for may sound good, if it isn’t accompanied by action and the appropriate level of attention from the person who said they would help, it doesn’t mean much at all. Badgering or shaming people into saying yes tends to generate resentment and they are likely to say anything just to get you to go away. Not exactly what you were hoping for, right?

On the flip side of the coin, it is ok to ask spontaneous questions. Don’t hold back on some seemingly wild idea to call someone famous and ask them for advice or an interview if you feel impulsed to do it. Try it! It’s pretty unlikely that anything bad will come from asking and your chances of actually getting what you asked for do increase by the mere act of asking. Begin collecting together great questions so you have them ready in the event of a chance meeting. You might be surprised at what comes of it.

Just remember that the end result is what you’re looking to accomplish. How you get there can be flexible. Ultimately, you can ask big and get big. You can ask small and get small. Is small what you had in mind? I bet not.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

I was invited by one of the SmartWoman readers to join a great website for female entrepreneurs and wanted to be sure you all knew about it. The website is Divapreneur.org

You need to be referred by a member, so when you sign up, you should tell them that Vicki Flaugher sent you. You can email me for a private invite  if you’d prefer a direct link. I’ll be happy to get it to you.

Divapreneur is free to sign up and it’s specifically designed to let you promo your business, network with other great women and, in general, find encouraging solidarity as we all ban together toward business success. I signed up tonight and I have already received several warm welcomes. How fun!

Divapreneur is not a stuffy, cubicle dweller’s heaven. Far from it! The website is pink and feminine with multiple organized community groups and lots of female entrepreneur focused marketing. The graphics are fun and sassy. And, it’s easy to connect with other women who can help you.

You can create and customize your own webpage that links to other social networking media and you can start a blog there too. Cool, right? It’s very well done and a seamless presentation.

Divapreneur is the lovechild of Elaine Biss and her journey is an interesting and inspiring one. I can’t wait to get to know her better. Her specific mission is to help women become a success doing what they are passionate about. Elaine, you are officially an honorary SmartWoman. Bravo!

So, go check out Divapreneur.org and take advantage of this amazing network of women. Tell them Vicki Flaugher sent you. Maybe I can talk Elaine into an interview so you can hear how she developed her brilliant idea…Elaine?

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman