Pushy marketing really, well, pushes my buttons. Not the “buy now” button or the “let me tell all my friends about you” button. No, more like the “opt-out, delete, don’t ever send me another email” button and the “I am selling your stuff on e-bay today to get the stench out of my house” button. Not pretty.

What has me so hot and bothered? I received an email recently from an internet marketer who had sent a big freebie bonus offer to me. The marketer was apologizing for having referred me to someone who was so relentless in his sales pitch (fortunately, since I had not opened the offer yet, I had been spared. I felt sad for all the others who had not been). This IM wonder said he was sorry if I had been offended, being sent a free offer, that I had to go through sales page after sales page of hard hitting, multiple offers. He said he thought it was a fun salemanship roller coaster ride and hey, the guy makes big money with these techniques, so it’s all good. GRRRRR….

I’m here to tell all you internet marketers out there that, NO, it is not all good. Especially for women buyers, these techniques no longer cut it (if they ever did) and it would be a wise move, in the new social media Web 2.0 environment, for you all to get on board and get over yourself. I can’t speak for all women, but having tolerated this treatment through the thousands of dollars of products I have bought over the years, I know I am not the only one who doesn’t like what you’re putting down.

Here are the top 3 things internet marketers should stop today if you want to sell to more women.

1. No more sports and war analogies. I am an avid boxing fan. I play around at golf. I know many women who love watching and playing sports. But, sinking a slam dunk, having home court advantage, or scoring a hole in one is not the only way to describe business success. Being a player isn’t that great either (women give a fake phone number to players, not their credit card info). I am not a road warrior and I am not out to make a killing. I am not afraid of who else is out there in the market because I know my USP. I don’t need to be pitted against another human being to make my way in this world.

I am a professional business woman with a college degree, a busy life, and a passionate, vested interest in my client. I don’t want to annihlate the competition. I’d rather joint venture with them and achieve synergy. Could you sell me something by focusing on providing great service and value without me having to butcher anyone, please? No more drop dead anything, ok?

2. No more “buy now or else” and “here today, gone tomorrow” strategies. A one of a kind Monet painting is priceless. Your eBook or mentoring program is not. You can and do crank those puppies out faster than I can eat chocolate ice cream, so just stop it. Don’t artificially create or inflate scarcity. It causes me to doubt your customer service, your commitment to your client, and your ability to actually give me real value. Your 100% money back guarantee means nothing if you’re out of business. Fly by night sales technique makes me wonder if you will be around to fulfill your promises. On top of that, my life (contrary to your narrative) will still be good without your product, so you don’t need to tell me how I’m a loser or an undedicated hack unless I get off my butt now and buy your product. Bull. Bull. Bull.

It’s especially irritating when I find your “today only” sale on a google search 6 months later. That doesn’t do much for my trust in you. Are you a going concern or not? Act like it! Most women buy through trusted sources and thoroughly investigate before buying. Once they buy, they tend to be fiercely loyal. Offer me a long term relationship and I will reward you with money and more referrals than you can shake a stick at. Are you interested in that or not?

3. No more hidden, auto-renew memberships as bonuses. Offering a month or two of free access (after which time you will begin charging my credit card $39 a month) to your paid membership site as a “free” bonus, among a zillon other bonuses on a long sales page is just plain deceitful. Sure, it’s all there in writing. Sure, you’re following the letter of the law. I know the opt-out rates are low because people just aren’t observant. But if it’s really ok with you to build your business on apathy rather than true value, count me out.

Your membership site should give me so much great advice and assistance that I am banging down your door to renew. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t deserve to be on auto-pay. I know these techniques work to make money, but so do SPAM scams from a foreign diplomat. I’m not suggesting that this approach is criminal on that level, but as a woman, I value transparency, forthrightness, and being given a fully informed choice. Betrayal lasts a long time for most of us, and the old adage of a woman scorned does have some truth in it. Be bold enough to lay it all out and let me choose. No tricks, no hiding, no deception. Respect my ability to recognize a great deal and act on it. Spend more time on how you can actually benefit me rather than polishing the vanishing act routine. You’ll get my business if you do.

I know I have painted with a broad brush here. I am not a self-appointed female representative. I have to edit myself too, because I have learned marketing from mostly men who use these techniques. But editing yourself for your audience is what professional marketers do. Learning what makes your client buy is the key. (you see, I wanted to say the name of the game there, but I edited myself…hint…). I also recognize that the buyer has full culpability in this process too, which is why I am speaking up. And opting out. And building a better approach for my clients (and yes, selling off some of the worst offenders’ stuff on ebay.)

Times are changing. Permission marketing, a la Seth Godin, is where things are moving. And, women worldwide open and run more small businesses than any other single group. We make 70%+ of the purchasing decisions in households. We are well educated, dedicated, and street smart. We’re not some little girl who gets giddy when you tell her how cute she looks (although we do enjoy sincere compliments) and we all already have a daddy. We aren’t on a man basher crusade (most of us). We are business women with money to spend. Do you want some of it? Following these tips could help. Try it and see if you can score a homerun with your sales.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

As a professional entrepreneur, it’s important to hear what your market is telling you. Even if it hurts your feelings, or is an unexpected reaction, or you don’t quite understand it, you have to listen and respond as appropriate. Your audience knows what they want and you must respect that.

For the last week or so, I added an opt-in gift report for female entrepreneurs. Many clicked on the link to see it yet very few downloaded it. Several women who did have told me they enjoyed it very much, but I feel disappointed that so many didn’t even try it. 

For the record, I believe in a zero tolerance SPAM policy. I do not share, sell, or rent my contacts. I am a die hard advocate for permission-only based marketing. I do not want you to feel anything other than confidence, joy and anticipation when you visit this community.

So, why did my report not get downloaded?

• It could be a matter of trust–perhaps I have not built enough trust yet with my audience for them to believe I would not mishandle their personal information.
• It could be a matter of value–perhaps the perceived value of the offered gift was not sufficient to compensate my audience for what they felt were giving.
• It could be a matter of relevance–perhaps what I was writing wasn’t pertinent to those visiting.
• It could be….something else that I have not identified.

Truth is, I don’t know for sure. But, I know I need to do something to fix it. And, I would highly recommend that, if you have a product, service, or offer that hasn’t worked out like you’d hoped, that you take a moment to adapt to what your market is telling you and fix it as well.

To be successful as an entrepreneur, you have to be willing to ask the tough questions. Even as painful as it might be to see something you created fail, you have to be willing to respond to the feedback you receive. You are doing yourself and your clients a great disservice if you don’t.

In the spirit of building trust and providing value, I have made my report available without having to provide your name and email, in case that was a contributing factor. Simply click on the link below to read the report.

The Emerging Woman Entrepreneurs Top 10 Questions to Ask (and Answer) Today 

I hope you enjoy it. I intended it to be useful. I sincerely hope it adds value to your experience, but you’ll have to decide that for yourself. I am open to hearing all feedback. Let me know what you think so I can grow, ok? I’d be grateful for your help.

Thank you for visiting here. I could not do what I do without you.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

p.s. If any of the readers here went to the report page and decided not to sign up, I’d be delighted to know why. You can email me privately or post here. It’s important to me that I provide trust, value, and relevance here. Your feedback is welcomed and encouraged.