Recently, I had the pleasure of winning a complimentary business coaching session. I loved the experience and I learned something very valuable: Do what you love in business.

But is it really that easy to know what that is? I don’t think so. We all get wrapped up in shoulds, and goals, and to-do lists, and expectations that are more rooted in fantasy than action. I am a strong proponent of big ideas, so it’s not that part of it that worries me really. More the part about the “shoulds”.

How much happiness comes from living a life of “should”?  Not much, really. Sure, you’re going to pay your bills and there is happiness in that. It’s much easier to be happy with a roof over your head and a meal in your belly. But, is that the point you’re at? Are you at that edge or are you closer to the middle where you do have the financial room to reevaluate your path?

If you are on the edge, get help (If you don’t know how, email me and I’ll do what I can to get you resources). Many a triumph has come from rags to riches. But, if you’re in the middle and would like to live a more passionate life, I would like to share the trick my coach asked of me:

Make a list of what you LOVE to do.

Put aside what you think is the logical plan. Put aside what you had lined up, what you had planned to do. Put the fast track plan you’ve imagined since college down. Step away from your presuppositions. Grab a soda or a glass of wine, find some private space, and write down the things that thrill you.

Don’t worry about how you’ll make money, not yet.  Just let the ideas flow. Connect with your heart and find out what makes you gasp with joy. Be creative. Get to the center of what it is about the things that feel good to you and really hone in on what it is about those things that work so well for you. If you like helping people, define why. Is it because you enjoy facilitating the transition, the a-ha moment? Or, do you pride yourself on teaching? Maybe you like helping people simply for a sense of service. Maybe you look to defeat ignorance. Maybe you enjoy helping people to help themselves. All of these points of view can take you in a different direction.

This process may take a few days, even weeks. Take the time to do it. Getting to know yourself will give you a laser focused awareness of your needs as a business person. It will awaken your own appreciation for your skills and desires. All of this will feed into a true passion driven vision and business plan. Don’t spend time figuring out how you’re going to turn your ideas into a job. Just savor the process of getting in touch with your wow factor.

We will discuss later this week about what to do next with your list. It’s an easier process than it may seem at first. The first step is to get to know yourself and what you love. Then, we will figure out how to transform those thoughts into opportunities.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

I learned many lessons about Life from my beloved little dog, Killer. A constant companion and devoted friend for over 20 years, when he passed last year, I struggled. It has taken some time for the heartache to finally fade back to be replaced by fonder memories of walks in the woods, the perpetually amusing antics, and “The Little Man’s” joyful “Hollywood smile”. I thought it appropriate on Memorial Day to share one of my favorite memories.

Killer loved chocolate covered donuts. I mean, LOVED. He would do nearly anything for them. Yes, sadly, some dogs (about 10%) die from eating chocolate but Killer was not one of them. He would run around like a pre-school youngster on a sugar buzz high when he ate them, but that was about the worst of it. He could not get enough of those yummy things.

Now, Killer was a dog of distinctly discerning taste. He didn’t prefer just any old chocolate donut, no. Those waxy little minis that your mother put in your lunchbox would not do. His donuts of choice were Entemman’s and they were full sized and deluxe. Only the best would satisfy Killer. He wouldn’t eat any other kind.

One night, a showdown was brewing between Killer and my human companion, Kevin. There was only one donut left in the box. Kevin loved chocolate donuts too and knew how Killer felt about them. We both treat our pets like people, but actual people still get priority, so, politically speaking, that last donut was Kevin’s. The battle of wills was on.

As Kevin claimed the last donut, Killer became single mindedly transfixed. He would not–could not–take his eyes off that donut. Kevin started playfully egging Killer on a bit, making a real show of it, humming, saying “Oooh, MMMM, this looks so good”. The good-hearted teasing only amplified Killer’s resolve. He intended to get some of that donut.

Killer tried everything. He flashed his award winning smile. He sat and stayed at attention with perfect, well-behaved precison. He did each of his trained tricks one after another, hoping for a reward. He gave it his all. He resorted to relentlessly following Kevin around, his little doggie mind working as fast as it could on a strategy. 

Finally, as Kevin plopped onto the sofa to enjoy his snack, Killer launched his plan. He scurried up Kevin’s outstretched body from the floor when Kevin’s feet touched the ground, making a full speed beeline for his goal. Kevin was so surprised (and hysterically laughing) that he could barely recover. He instinctively reacted by pulling his arms (and the hand that held the tasty morsel) over his head at the edge of the sofa, where that chocolate prize now hung inches from the floor.

Killer immediately hopped off Kevin and dove for his heart’s desire, now enticingly available to him at his 12″ height. Victory was within reach! Kevin realized his treat was in true peril and snatched it back to safety just as Killer was reaching up to take a bite.

This all happened within just a few seconds, and we were in tears from laughter. Moral of the story: Kevin was so impressed with Killer’s, well, doggedness, that he gave that scruffy little canine a full half of the last donut. Killer was officially dubbed “The Mighty Donut Hunter” that day and we got a story that still makes us laugh. And, most importantly, I witnessed a real life, real time demonstration of passion, focus, and determination.

So, I ask you. As an entrepreneur, what drives your passion and determination? What are you willing to give your complete, focused attention to? What is YOUR chocolate donut?…

God speed and love to all who have gone before.
Together, we are stronger.

Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman