As children, we were told to use our “inside voice”.

The request was usually triggered by us running around, yelling at the top of our lungs, wrecking havoc in our pathway. Often, we were just having fun, but we might have been fighting for stuff, or maybe angry, or maybe trying to get attention. Safe to say, we weren’t being subtle.

The request for using our inside voice was typically made by a long suffering and frazzled parent or care provider. It was a plea, really, to take a deep breath and lower our outward volume. They wanted us to act in a more measured and controlled tone, to (dare I say it?) act more civilized.

In marketing your business, I would suggest that using your inside voice can be very powerful. Instead of taking the approach that we are being asked to damp down our “real selves” and behave in a way we do not wish, we could look at it as a chance to get in touch with our deeper selves.

It’s often in the silence, when that inner knowing and confidence begins to bubble up and show itself, that we find our true voice. You don’t need all caps and exclamation points to garner attention. As any mother knows, sometimes it’s what you don’t say, actually, that gets the message across. Being plugged in with your heart and creativity is a way to know that more quiet way. Being willing to build rather than tear down is a good first step.

By being open to exploring the deep emotions and connections that prompt your prospect to purchase, or your client to refer you, or your employees to go the extra mile, you find your inside voice. You move in strong and effective ways. Your level of sophistication and relevance improves. You step into that wonderful world of civilized adults having a valuable conversation about important things. Yes, you can still have fun and scream with glee when it’s the right time and place. But, your business marketing isn’t that time and place. Find your inside voice and use it today.

Energy seeks alignment. Much like water seeks its mark, your energy and how you use it affects your entire life, your entire Being. A misalignment of your unique Self and the energy you are taking in and projecting out can affect your prosperity, your business, your happiness. So, choose wisely.

What does this have to do with being an entrepreneur? Well, everything you choose to do – your staffing, your business plan, your actions day to day – are determined by how you think of yourself and the energy you are managing. Are you acting smaller than you really are? Are you amping down your energetic personality to fit in? Are you staying quiet and invisible so you don’t offend anyone else? Are you seeking out other ants when you should be seeking out elephants?

Maybe you’re not an elephant – that’s my personal analogy that works for me – but there is value in being among your peers. Your peers of who you really are, not who are you acting like. Much like colors have different vibrations, different self-identities have a different vibration also. Are you sending out an authentic vibration? That vibration is the beacon that draws others to you, so once again, I’d say choose wisely.

Sometimes the hardest thing is to admit what you really feel, who you really are, how you really see yourself and make decisions from that place. You might need to get a new circle of friends. You might need to get fancy clothes and a new haircut. You might have to give up your excuses. You might need to forgive someone or some circumstance from the past. You might need to demonstrate deep courage.

Whatever it is, seek alignment. Be the real You. If you’re an elephant, start acting like one. Today. The ants will likely appreciate you going away and ignoring them because you’re probably just stepping all over them anyway. Today is a good day to be the real You.

Many times, when people answer a question with “I don’t know”, it’s more of a push off than a real answer. They don’t want to think about it right now, they don’t want to commit, or perhaps they don’t want to be held responsible for the fall-out from the answer.

But, done right, an honest “I don’t know” can be one of the most powerful entrepreneur tools available.

By getting in touch with the place inside of you that holds no judgment, or decisions, or prejudice, you can experience a world of creativity and insight that isn’t available to know-it-alls. By being willing to be vulnerable enough to ask a question instead of always being the one to answer it, you can open yourself up to new possibilities, innovative ideas, and – dare I say it – out of the box thinking.

The key to experiencing the power of a true “I don’t know” moment is rather straightforward – you have to be willing. And, you might have to practice a bit. So, to help you practice accessing that perfect intersection of creativity and inspiration, here are some tips:

Embrace the Value of Mistakes

Most people don’t like making mistakes, but they seem to have no problem forging ahead with their ideas and doing whatever might seem right instead of admitting they don’t know. They are more afraid of being embarrassed about seeming ignorant than they are about going right ahead and proving in action that they are!

If you make peace with mistakes and instead see them as the natural process of learning lessons, the pressure to seem like you know something instead of sitting with “I don’t know” for a bit will ease up. Once you can get past the automatic impulse to “do something” (even if it’s not the right something), the closer you will be to discovering the actual right something to do.

Make Asking Your Mode of Operation

Again, asking another to help you can perhaps feel demeaning, or seem unprofessional, or maybe – heaven forbid – reduce your credibility. But, really, the most successful people in the world, in business and in life, all ask questions much more of the time than they do nearly anything else.

Think of the added benefits of asking from a marketing point of view – it shows that you care about others, it shows you are more focused on them instead of yourself, it allows you to have up to date market data, and it helps you communicate that you are approachable. Even if you don’t want to ask a real, in the flesh person, at least have an open enough mind to entertain others’ opinions from books and training materials. Two heads ARE better than one.

Accept that Vulnerability is Attractive

How many people flock to help a person who knows everything? Nearly no one! People help others that need help. You can pretend you know everything, build a persona of invincibility, and you can have coffee by yourself. Or, if you’re willing to accept that vulnerability is attractive, you can easily draw in others who have much to offer you. Asking questions (and sincerely listening to the answers) can be a tool you use to allow others the saving face to come in and offer their help.

It’s nice to fantasize about being a well-respected guru who has people traveling from all over the world to seek their counsel, and maybe some day you will be that. But even the most famous of spiritual leaders, enlightened political figures, and a host of wealthy, famous people often greet those travelers with a question – NOT an answer.

We can all learn something from others around us, both the known and the lesser known genius minds among us, as well as the ones living now and throughout history. But, lessons don’t get learned if we aren’t already in a state of “I don’t know”, so get there are fast as you can!

Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

follow me on Twitter: SmartWoman

I am a firm believer in mentors. I use the word guru in a playful and partly kidding way (well, except for my actual spiritual guru), but I know of a handful of amazing people I would consider at that level, a business or marketing or sales guru. Some of mine include Seth Godin, Jay Abraham, Brian Tracy, and others.

It is usually easy for me to feel comfortable recognizing others with more expertise, ability, and experience. I value interacting with people farther along a path than I am or with a more refined and capable skill set. I like having people around me that know more than I do. I’d rather had a “better me” than a “mini me” to work together with. Here’s where I have to digress, though.

Just because someone is a guru does not mean that what they suggest to do is always the very best thing for you to actually do.  It’s tempting to not question someone who is so far ahead of where you are that you can’t hardly see where they’re coming from, but it’s not a good course of action. You have to incorporate the information into your own situation. You have to evaluate if their course of action resonates with your own goals and values.

What I like to do is use guru wisdom as my jumping off point. I listen with an open mind, say yes to everything they are saying in the initial stages of learning, so I don’t turn a blind eye to something I really need to change or know, and then see how it all feels in my gut. I listen to my own reaction to ensure that what I choose to do is proper for me.

Sometimes a guru’s wisdom triggers a creative idea in me, a better idea. Sometimes it brings me clarity on what I don’t want to do. Sometimes it makes me realize I need to embrace some new values. Sometimes it’s exactly what I need to hear at exactly the right time and it spurs me on to action.

When a guru’s idea doesn’t seem right to me, my next step is to ask myself if there is a block in my mindset which is preventing me from seeing the wisdom in the guru’s words. Just like riding a bike felt strange the first time, sometimes new ideas need to be experienced a bit before they feel right. The whole point of a blind spot is that we can’t see there. And, blind spots are definitely worth eliminating.

With all this in mind, if an idea doesn’t work for me, I don’t use it, regardless of the high status the person who suggested it may have. It takes courage to move counter to someone more successful, or happier, or smarter, or whatever. But, ultimately, you have to look yourself in the mirror. You are responsible for what you choose, not them.

Gurus are people. They make mistakes like you. They may be more right more often than you are, but they are still living in the world, just like you. While you can offer them respect and attention, and you can learn amazing things from them, at the end of the day, it’s important that you unconditionallly trust the greatest guru you know – yourself.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

NOTE: For those of you with limited time and no desire for the back story, you can go straight to the sign up page by clicking here: Your Internet Cash Machine Book Sampler

Don’t be in such a hurry that you cheat yourself out of the free bonuses info though–read below! It won’t take long and it will be worth it!

For those of you with a minute or two on your hands:

Even though he’s a mega-star of metaphysics now, Joe Vitale, one of the stars of The Secretis one of my original marketing gurus from way back. He’s a really interesting guy and I got to go to his birthday party late last year. The picture above captured the moment (that’s me in the middle!)

He and Jillian Coleman Wheeler co-authored a book about using the internet to build a business, called Your Internet Cash Machine: The Insiders Guide to Making Big Money, Fast!

I worked with Jillian on the book release and can say unequivocally that it is full of great stuff–very practical and relevant, not empty hype and pushy tactics. And, it’s usable on several different business models.

During the book launch marketing process, I helped Jillian create a sampler taken directly from Your Internet Cash Machine and have convinced her to let me offer it here to my readers.

The sampler has enough good ideas in it that you should be able to benefit just reading that alone; that’s how we designed it to be–a true sample of the work, not just teaser material.  You will need to provide your email when you request the sampler so the link can be sent to you directly.

To sign up for your copy of the Your Internet Cash Machine book sampler, click below:
Your Internet Cash Machine Book Sampler

I have also secured permission from Jillian to allow you to visit the purchase bonus page that was originally used for the launch. There you will find literally thousands of dollars of related stuff that you will get to download for free by providing your email and Amazon receipt number.

Here’s how to claim the purchase bonuses:

1. Purchase the book at Amazon or your preferred book seller.
2. Next, go to the bonus website and enter your name and receipt  #.
3. Enjoy your bounty and claim your bonuses!

I signed up for the bonuses and enjoyed them. I can say first hand that I did not get spammed with useless stuff once I did. But, you will have to decide for yourself the tolerance you have for communication with new businesses and their information.

All the bonuses include a good description, so you can opt-in to some and not others (which I confess, I also did–not all of them appealed to me). I have not had any problem later opting-out of various emails too. A very good experience overall.

So, have fun! At least get the Sampler–it’s a good read.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

p.s. Darn, that’s a good looking launch page, if I say so myself!

I have hit the motherlode! Yes, I am a google freak, but this is just the beginning. I am sincere when I tell you my goal is to unify the field for women entrepreners. We deserve to have great information, easily accessible. We deserve to be united. We deserve the best of the best. I am starting to make a dent in that goal…

I have added descriptions, some of my own assessment, and others from the websites themselves, to help you choose which ones are most applicable to you. I personally have visited and investigated these and feel comfortable recommending that you should too. (The quotation mark are placed to show I took, in fair use, the descriptions from the sites themselves, not to signify anything else.)

Check out all these blogs/sites/articles, and the massive amount of business, marketing, advertising, and entreprener guidance they have to offer. It’s like gold! (Be sure to mark this entry to return to it…it’s going to take some time…)

1. http://jenniferkushell.wordpress.com/ From the website: ”Your Success Network – is focused on creating the #1 online universe that arms emerging adults across the globe with the most trusted tools and resources needed to achieve success in their lives and careers”
2. http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/ From Pam, the owner’s, bio: “Pamela Slim is a seasoned coach and writer who helps frustrated employees in corporate jobs break out and start their own business.”
3. http://investinwomen.wordpress.com/ Per Leah Oviedo, the owner: “On this blog I will post stories and organizations that will empower women to live successful lifes…by linking with quality websites that Empower Women and with Business Services by Women for other entrepreneurs.”
4. http://bettersalesprofessional.com/ Sales and marketing tips for entrepreneurs. This site owner, Barbara, is “A sales veteran…(with) a proven, 25+ year track record of selling into enterprise level and small-mid market accounts”
5. http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/ Seth Godin is one of my uber heros–great stuff–he is a world class bestselling author, and champion of permission based marketing. Many books, founder of Squidoo, MBA in business, and very straight talking. I have a professional crush on him.
6. http://theunknownentrepreneur.wordpress.com/ I just like how honest and raw this man is about his entrepreneurial journey–I find it inspiring. From his about page: “Why do we lose so many Entrepreneurs? The Simple answer is because we all either forget or just do not appreciate what risks Entrepreneurs take in trying to make their “Dreams a Reality”. “
7. http://www.wowowow.com/ An amazing, star studded, power grouping of women having conversations about life and the modern women. Candice Bergen, Whoopi Goldburg, Leslie Stahl, Peggy Noonan, Marlo Thomas, Lily Tomlin, and others discuss politics, business, sexism and more.
8. http://leighhouse.typepad.com/advergirl/ The author says “I am a 30-something brand strategist located deep in the delightful Mid-west. After I help clients tell clear, compelling brand stories at work, I log on to Advergirl to be part of the conversation shaping our industry and our economy.”  IMO, this women IS the industry. It’s great stuff.
9. http://www.b2bemailmarketing.com/ From the About page: “BeRelevant!, founded on February 8, 2005, is a weblog that covers email marketing best practices. Each and every one of the articles, tools and resources that are featured on BeRelevant! have been carefully selected based on their value and uniqueness.”
10. http://www.blogwriteforceos.com/blogwrite/ From Debbie’s bio: “Debbie Weil is a corporate & CEO blogging and social media consultant, sought-after speaker and author” She is a responsive, intelligent entrepreneur that is full of wonderful advice on how to turn your blog into business.
11. http://www.brandeo.com/ From the website: “Brandeo is a weblog dedicated to keeping you up-to-date on marketing ideas, trends, strategies and solutions to make your job easier and to help you get better marketing results.”
12. http://brandandmarket.com/ From her website: “Branding & Marketing is written by Chris Brown for business professionals who want to learn more about marketing and branding strategies and tactics.” Chris has been very responsive to me and I look forward to working with her empowering women.
13. http://www.ck-blog.com/ Under her FAQ page, CK says “I cover a wide range of marketing topics including strategy, social media and socially responsible marketing. I work to communicate best practices through a range of examples that include the really smart and the really not-so-smart. While most every post is focused on marketing, no day is ever the same.”
14. http://overtonecomm.blogspot.com/ Social media, branding, and reputation marketing. Fresh voice, lots of info on how communication can help (and hurt) you.
15. http://www.conversationagent.com/ Top ranked marketing blog with Valeria Maltoni, focusing on how modern businesses and entrepreneurs can shape the conversation they have with their clients. Branding, social media, and the importance of story. High powered stuff!
16. http://ringblog.typepad.com/corporatepr/ From the website: “…commentary on the theory and practice of public relations and organizational communications from Elizabeth Albrycht.” Elizabeth has amazing credentials and the blog is easier to read than that description implies…theory is good when you are shown applications and that’s what Elizabeth does.
17. http://customersrock.wordpress.com/ Why Becky blogs: “.. Everyday, both as a businesswoman and as a consumer, I have thoughts and ideas as I walk through the customer experiences of services and products.  I want to share those thoughts and ideas so more companies can learn how to take on this “customers rock!” attitude for themselves.”
18. http://bloombergmarketing.blogs.com/bloomberg_marketing/ “An approach to marketing that’s fun, bold, and savvy, but always strategically aligned with your brand’s objective” Social media focus with Toby Bloomberg.
19. http://www.womensnet.net/ Grants and funding resources for women entrepreneurs. Also includes a business and social networking blog to meet like-minded women and get your questions answered.
20. http://www.hiyaahpower.com/ The website’s stated mission: “Hiyaah Power …was created to serve as an online conduit of information for women. Information includes the following topics: professional development (for profit and non-profit), holistic counseling and healing resources, and news on leading edge organizations that expand a woman’s empowerment base.
21. http://wendy.kinesisinc.com/ Says Wendy Maynard: “I am the co-owner of… a creative firm specializing in marketing, branding, graphic design, and website development…I have so many ideas floating around in my head about both offline and online marketing strategies, that I wanted to share them. Thus, this blog (Kinetic Ideas) was born.”
22. http://getgood.typepad.com/ About Susan Getgood, the author: “A results-oriented strategic marketer, Susan knows how to build brands using technology, policy and good old fashioned high-quality products. In 2004, she founded GetGood Strategic Marketing Inc. to help bring blogs into the mix as an indispensable marketing tool.”
23. http://www.entrepreneurs-journey.com/tag/michael-cheney/ I love Michael…he’s so enthusiastic,, and Yaros has much to say. “Down to earth advice for bloggers and internet marketers”
24. http://midlifecrisisqueen.com/ An often humorous look at the mid-life crisis journey, interwoven with psychological insights and advice. Fun and indepth posts about a wide range of female interest topics. A fiesty 50-year old counselor with an attitude. I like her!
25. http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/startherup/archives/138518.asp “A blog for women in Startups – what they do, what they face and why it’s different than men. Told through the eyes of Alyssa Royse, who is running a venture-backed startup of her own.
26. http://www.nafe.com/?service=vpage/1474 National Association for Female Executives, founded in 1972 and committed to the advancement of women in the workplace.
27. http://www.score.org/women_resources.html LOADS of female entrepreneur resource links at this location. Per the website, “SCORE “Counselors to America’s Small Business” is a nonprofit association dedicated to educating entrepreneurs and the formation, growth and success of small business nationwide. SCORE is a resource partner with the U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA).”
28. http://avirtualbiz.wordpress.com/ Terri Brooks, a female entrepreneur and professional virtual assistant, talks about life and work and “provides remote administrative, financial and creative support to busy professionals.” Very heartfelt, inspiring, and encouraging site for women entrepreneurs.
29. http://www.copywritingmaven.com/ By Roberta Rosenberg, “The Copywriting Maven”,  whose blog “shares tips, techniques, reviews and cranky commentary”. Fun and very informative reading.
30. http://www.womensventurefund.org/ Mission Statement: The Women’s Venture Fund is a non-profit organization that helps women of diverse backgrounds establish thriving businesses in urban communities.  WVF offers training, small business loans, and a network of business advisors to help women reach their business goals.
31. http://cloud9design.wordpress.com/2008/01/16/woman-owned-business-resources/ Journal by a work at home Mom who makes eco friendly clothing–this particular link is a listing of many female focused entrepreneur sites.
32. http://www.internationalentrepreneurship.com/Women%20Entrepreneurs.asp?pid=3 International Entrepreneurship’s resource links for women entrepreneurs worldwide. Very helpful stuff for those in the US as well as all around the world.
33. http://www.womeninpower.com/home.asp “An online community for entrepreneurial woman to connect and create.” It’s creator, Erica Combs, is the Vice President of Golden Mastermind Seminars, Inc. and an internationally recognized speaker, author and trainer.
34. http://www.womenpower-radio.com/ Internet radio station with programs hosted by Raven Blair Davis.  Raven is a recognized speaker, coach and trainer. Her mission is to assist women over 40 in discovering and pursuing their true passion and dreams, despite their age and any perceived limitations.
35. http://www.womenpartner.com/ Women Consortium website–great info, but it may be a little slow loading…be patient.
36. http://www.womensvoicesforchange.org/ Women’s Voices for Change is a news, commentary and opinion website that celebrates women’s health, beauty, wisdom and vibrancy. We’re here to remind the world how vital, versatile and powerful women over 40 are.
37. http://www.guide2womenleaders.com/ This site is dedicated to the women who have ruled since the beginning of times – or as long as the sources date back
38. http://psdblog.worldbank.org/psdblog/2008/01/attention-frien.html World Bank site that focuses on private development and a market approach to development thinking. This links to the Doing Business project.
39. http://debnyberg.blogspot.com/ A place for women in business to be made aware of business opportunities as well as new products and events effecting online business development.
40. http://drwright.blogspot.com/ A blog written by Dr. Letitia S. Wright, D.C. – host of the Wright Place TV Show, Co-Author of the Power of Mentorship for the Woman Entrepreneur and the Producer of the Power of Mentorship Movie.
41. http://empowerwomennow.com/news-women-entrepreneurs/ The Entrepreneur and Small Business Owner’s Internet Branding Line-up with Ponn M Sambra.
42. http://inspired.entrepreneur.com/ One of the man cool blogs sponsored by Entrepreneur magazine.
43. http://www.getentrepreneurial.com/ A small business blog dedicated to providing business advice and resources to our community of aspiring entrepreneurs.
44. http://www.julielenzerkirk.com/index.nhtml Julie Lenzer Kirk harnesses her experience as a successful and award-winning IT entrepreneur to assist others in realizing their dream of entrepreneurship and taking their already-established entrepreneurial companies to the next level.
45. http://mindpetals.com/blog/2006/11/20-hot-resources-for-women-entrepreneurs/ Mind Petals  put together a great list of resources for women entrepreneurs. “Women entrepreneurs are doing big things in the world of entrepreneurship, helping to shape the new direction of technology, innovation, and startups.”
46. http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com/ You’ll find essays on being a working mom, tips about opening your own business, time management strategies, book and product reviews, and updates on Elizabeth Poss Weinstein’s business & life.
47. http://realwomen.wordpress.com/ The REAL Women site is an online community for Rising Entrepreneurs And Like-minded women whether practising or aspiring to run their own business.
48. http://www.weblogmv.com/ A Professional & Personal Development Blog for Entrepreneurial Women – Creating a Space for Success in Your World!
49. http://www.blogher.com/ The community for women who blog. BlogHer’s mission is to create opportunities for women who blog to pursue exposure, education, community and economic empowerment.
50. http://icanhascheezburger.com/ (This site is to renew your humor—the creator of this blog just got a national publishing deal with a $300,000 advance to write about how he made this blog into the success it is today…he makes tens of thousands each month….and it’s hysterical! Check it out and have a laugh on a brilliant idea!)

When you explore and post to these, as you see fit, tell them SmartWoman sent you. Please be sure to post your feedback about the sites here too.

Let’s connect with others who are working for the same goals we are!

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman