I believe that the best answers, in your business and your personal life, come from well-constructed questions. The more clear we get about our connection to the real motive behind what we do and what might really help us get there, the better off we are. The more our questions reflect that clarity, the better answers we will receive.

When we create and ask a well-constructed question, it feels like a guitar string being plucked inside our bodies. A vibration that sings “Yes, that’s it. That’s what I want to know” wells up within you. Don’t be worried you won’t know it or feel it when you hear it. You will. Just listen. And, prepare yourself for a freely given and honest answer.

Answers have to be freely accepted. “No” is an answer. “I don’t know” is an answer. And, “Yes, I could help you but I am not going to” is also answer. These aren’t necessarily the answers we want to get, but we must keep an open mind and heart about hearing real answers. Don’t ever worry that you shouldn’t have asked. It’s ok to ask. Just remember that it takes true devotion to see the silver lining in your disappointments, but you will probably find one if you look for it.

As much as hearing the answer we were looking for may sound good, if it isn’t accompanied by action and the appropriate level of attention from the person who said they would help, it doesn’t mean much at all. Badgering or shaming people into saying yes tends to generate resentment and they are likely to say anything just to get you to go away. Not exactly what you were hoping for, right?

On the flip side of the coin, it is ok to ask spontaneous questions. Don’t hold back on some seemingly wild idea to call someone famous and ask them for advice or an interview if you feel impulsed to do it. Try it! It’s pretty unlikely that anything bad will come from asking and your chances of actually getting what you asked for do increase by the mere act of asking. Begin collecting together great questions so you have them ready in the event of a chance meeting. You might be surprised at what comes of it.

Just remember that the end result is what you’re looking to accomplish. How you get there can be flexible. Ultimately, you can ask big and get big. You can ask small and get small. Is small what you had in mind? I bet not.

Together, we are stronger.
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman