Women and girls are uniquely and disproportionately affected by armed conflict.  In modern warfare, an estimated 90% of the casualties are civilians, and 75% of these are women and children. No Woman, No Peace

Wow, right? When I read this in an article today, I had to sit down and take a deep breath. It boogles my spirit and jumbles my heart.

Even though this UN resolution and the USA’s action plan to support the solution to this are great news, it is also mind numbing to imagine that the effect of war is so deadly to citizens in general, and to women and children in particular.

As we enter this new year with promise and resolve, let’s remember our sisters in arms. A friend of mind said it best today – Arms are for hugging.

For those of us in lands that are more peaceful, let’s give thanks for all the blessings we have. Let’s celebrate nations taking positive action. Let’s share with our neighbors the effects of war so we can no longer turn a blind eye to it. Let us remember that we are in this together.

If you are in a country torn by war, know that we are with you.

If this problem moves you to take action, take it now. Donate your time, your money, and your help in whatever way you can. Women have the power to eliminate poverty and war. If not now, when?

2012 is going to be a productive year here at SmartWomanGuides.com – we are going to host several Global Women’s Summits, produce several women entrepreneur products, and have much quality time together at training events. I am excited for all there is to come and I am inspired by every woman I meet.

We are going to expand our ability past our doorsteps and into the global commerce arena. We will be reaching out to our global sisters to better ourselves and our world.

As we do our work this year, we will come face to face with problems like the one in this article about women and war. It’s our responsibility to be both witness and relief. Start today by being thankful and aware.

Remember: No woman, no peace.

In love and gratitude,

Vicki @Smartwoman Flaugher

[graphic by DFID - UK Department for International Development]

The role of beauty in business for women can get pretty sketchy – it’s like walking through a mine field of sexuality, social morays, and prejudice (or preference). Many times, a woman’s beauty gives her an advantage, opens doors, makes her someone even the most hardened “women should be raising children and managing the home” old schooler wants to be near in the workplace. For those of us who openly discuss the expansion of women’s contribution in our society, it can be both alarming and disheartening to see just how much nearly everyone appreciates a pretty face over any other factor.

Just look at the frequency that the pharmaceutical companies use gorgeous young women as their sales reps. Doctors are busy, they deal with lots of demands, and they see the ugliest of human situations in their office, day in and day out. Who can blame them for being persuaded by a vibrant, attractive woman? It sounds sexist, I realize, but it’s hard to deny that beauty works. Again, easy to debate whether or not it should, but there is some value in starting where we’re at and working from there.

The role of beauty in business also permeates our advertising culture. In magazine marketing, I am often confused and dismayed that teenagers are wearing expensive luxury items, items unlikely they could afford in real life. But the girls are young and beautiful and they appeal to the men who are likely to buy those yummy diamonds for the real life (probably some bit older than a teenager) women in their life. Lots of stereotypes to throw around here and I don’t want to get distracted by all that – like I said, it’s like a mine field sometimes.

I’d be remiss not to acknowledge the negative stereotypes of pretty women too (ditzy, shallow, manipulative) and fully recognize the role gender discrimination has played in the treatment of women. I am an advocate for the full engagement and respect of women worldwide. I see many of the atrocities and are often brought to my knees in sadness and shame when I research this topic. I don’t deny this is important and real. What I am asking is do we have to rid ourselves of beauty to rid ourselves of discrimination? I’m pretty sure the answer is no.

I confess that I am not ashamed of my sexuality. I love make up, I love my curves, I love fashion that flatters my figure, and I love looking as great as I can. To me, that is part of being a whole woman and I bring my entire self to the business environment. It’s part of my creativity, strength, and charm. Is that wrong? Some might think so, but it’s how I am choosing to live my life.

So, can beauty be empowerment in business?

Can we decide as women that we aren’t going to leave our genitals at the door (or our emotions or our desire to cooperate instead of compete, or our family values)?

Is there room for beauty in our vision of what business is and how it operates?

Do women have their own set of discriminatory attitudes against (or for) beauty in business?

I ask these questions sincerely, not rhetorically, and would love to hear about your experiences and thoughts on it.

What role does (should) beauty play in business for women?

I look forward to hearing what you have to say!

Vicki Flaugher, CEO
aka @Smartwoman

I have entered a contest to be sent to the World Economic Forum’s annual meeting in Davos 2010. Here is my video submission – am anxiously awaiting the judges’ decision on finalists. Wish me luck – and, please add comments and ratings if you’re so inclined. I will let you know if I am a finalist.

Verbal abuse is destructive. Verbal abuse in business, or life, or really anywhere, is hurtful. And, it’s debilitating. Allowing someone to degrade you, insult you, demean you (with and/or without physical contact) has long term, insidious impact. It’s certainly not something we’d want to teach our daughters, yet many of us remain in relationships that include this abuse. We feel trapped and we know, deep inside, that it’s not the best way to live.

I have lived through a verbally abusive marriage. I tolerated my husband’s caustic words because I thought I was supposed to accept, tolerate, and endure. My self esteem was very low. I thought I was just supposed to tough it out, turn the other cheek, and ignore the insults. I turned off my emotions and slogged through, doing the best I could to put on a happy face and not stick out too much.

At a certain point, it was all just too much. I had a moment of epiphany that changed everything. And, I got out. It was a long, painful process, but I got out. You can listen here to me describing that epiphany moment if you wish:

Now, I have healed enough to accept my own role in the situation and to make better choices going forward. I don’t blame anyone else. But, as someone who has felt the sting of this issue, I now see examples of it everywhere. And, I am committed to awareness.

Let’s think about the places verbal abuse exists now – why do we allow the media to casually banter about the words stupid, idiot and Nazi? Why do we tell young boys to toughen up and learn to fight back to the bully on the playground? Why do we think that a boss yelling at us is just part of the job? Why do we stifle our dreams because we are told we’re crazy, an unrealistic dreamer, or worse too screwed up to ever follow through on something that important because we’ve never done anything right before.

We tend to look past these every day examples, explaining it as “how it is”. I have seen both sides of this and I can tell you, it’s not how it is. It’s how we choose it to be. We all have the power to begin to ratchet down the histrionics and choose differently – choose more kindly. When we accept our role in pervasive verbal abuse, we can begin to shift away from it. The massive amounts of energy being used to defend and protect ourselves begins to become available for creativity and fun. The change starts with us.

So, next time you write an email subject line like “You’d be crazy not to take this offer” or you decide that fear based marketing “Do it now or you’ll always be a loser” is the best approach, I am asking you to reconsider your technique. The next time you call someone a moron because they don’t agree with your political position, check yourself. Imagine a man calling your daughter an idiot. Imagine her making the choice to tolerate the insults because she saw you participating in that. See it forward and I suspect you will reconsider your need to spew.

It’s the color of the season, the color of an open heart, and the new black – gratitude.

Never before in my life have I felt such an outpouring of gratefulness, generosity, and caring as I have witnessed over the last several weeks. Don’t know if I was just wearing the right clothes, or smelled just so, but I have had the pleasure of seeing some amazing things first hand. And, I feel glad from it.

Everywhere around us, we witness the world. Some of it can seem frightening. If you listen to the general attention monger media, you might conclude that we should all be in a constant state of fear.

But here’s the deal – fear is a state of mind, not an automatic reaction. When we open our eyes to beauty and miracles, we see that instead. Call me a rose-colored glasses wearing optimist, but hope and forward looking visioning feels better to experience. It gives me more strength of spirit to face the issues that need addressing and to take action. Fear cripples – hope and love uplift. Fear is a choice and it is not my choice today.

In honor of this elation and well…gratitude I feel for the wondrous and hopeful things I see around me, I thought I would share with you some of my favorite causes. If you have one you love, please list it in comments below so we can all know about the good work they are doing and how we can help.

Kiva.org – Microlending site: For as little as $25 you can provide much needed credit assistance to deserving entrepreneurs worldwide. Most entrepreneurs who use microlending are women.
RoomToRead.org – Literacy program started by ex-Microsoft executive, John Wood, that builds libraries throughout the developing world. Room to Read’s programs have reached more than three million children so far and hopes to improve literacy for ten million children by 2020.
WomenForWomen.org – Women for Women International provides women survivors of war, civil strife and other conflicts with the tools and resources to move from crisis and poverty to stability and self-sufficiency.
Charity: Water - Almost a billion people on the planet don’t have access to clean drinking water. That’s one in eight of us. charity: water is a non-profit organization bringing clean and safe drinking water to people in developing nations. 100% of public donations directly fund water projects.

We have the power within ourselves to create a world of peace, understanding, tolerance, and health. Thank you to everyone who is working toward this vision – know that many of us stand in gratitude for what you do.

Together, we are stronger!

Vicki Flaugher, CEO
SmartWomanGuides.com

My first video ever has been posted on YouTube – Self Care by SmartWoman. It was inspired by Jeannette Maw, the Good Vibe Coach and I hope you enjoy it! Here’s to women and their health! You deserve to enjoy a full measure of self love!

I don’t feel the need to say much else today, except to share with you the words of the great man who’s work I celebrate today.

Be well, love each other, and use the freedom you do have so that those who do not have freedom can live though you too.

Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

Many times, when people answer a question with “I don’t know”, it’s more of a push off than a real answer. They don’t want to think about it right now, they don’t want to commit, or perhaps they don’t want to be held responsible for the fall-out from the answer.

But, done right, an honest “I don’t know” can be one of the most powerful entrepreneur tools available.

By getting in touch with the place inside of you that holds no judgment, or decisions, or prejudice, you can experience a world of creativity and insight that isn’t available to know-it-alls. By being willing to be vulnerable enough to ask a question instead of always being the one to answer it, you can open yourself up to new possibilities, innovative ideas, and – dare I say it – out of the box thinking.

The key to experiencing the power of a true “I don’t know” moment is rather straightforward – you have to be willing. And, you might have to practice a bit. So, to help you practice accessing that perfect intersection of creativity and inspiration, here are some tips:

Embrace the Value of Mistakes

Most people don’t like making mistakes, but they seem to have no problem forging ahead with their ideas and doing whatever might seem right instead of admitting they don’t know. They are more afraid of being embarrassed about seeming ignorant than they are about going right ahead and proving in action that they are!

If you make peace with mistakes and instead see them as the natural process of learning lessons, the pressure to seem like you know something instead of sitting with “I don’t know” for a bit will ease up. Once you can get past the automatic impulse to “do something” (even if it’s not the right something), the closer you will be to discovering the actual right something to do.

Make Asking Your Mode of Operation

Again, asking another to help you can perhaps feel demeaning, or seem unprofessional, or maybe – heaven forbid – reduce your credibility. But, really, the most successful people in the world, in business and in life, all ask questions much more of the time than they do nearly anything else.

Think of the added benefits of asking from a marketing point of view – it shows that you care about others, it shows you are more focused on them instead of yourself, it allows you to have up to date market data, and it helps you communicate that you are approachable. Even if you don’t want to ask a real, in the flesh person, at least have an open enough mind to entertain others’ opinions from books and training materials. Two heads ARE better than one.

Accept that Vulnerability is Attractive

How many people flock to help a person who knows everything? Nearly no one! People help others that need help. You can pretend you know everything, build a persona of invincibility, and you can have coffee by yourself. Or, if you’re willing to accept that vulnerability is attractive, you can easily draw in others who have much to offer you. Asking questions (and sincerely listening to the answers) can be a tool you use to allow others the saving face to come in and offer their help.

It’s nice to fantasize about being a well-respected guru who has people traveling from all over the world to seek their counsel, and maybe some day you will be that. But even the most famous of spiritual leaders, enlightened political figures, and a host of wealthy, famous people often greet those travelers with a question – NOT an answer.

We can all learn something from others around us, both the known and the lesser known genius minds among us, as well as the ones living now and throughout history. But, lessons don’t get learned if we aren’t already in a state of “I don’t know”, so get there are fast as you can!

Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

follow me on Twitter: SmartWoman

I am bursting at the seams with excitement! I have been confirmed as one of the featured speakers at Jen Blackert’s upcoming Fearless Millionaire telesummit. My 2009 is coming fast and furious and being involved with this type of event is on my radar. I can’t wait!

Jen is the Attraction Diva, working as a successful business consultant, using solid business principles coupled with the powerful energy and visioning work of the Law of Attraction, to help entrepreneurs build six and seven figure incomes. She is one of my friends and trusted advisors and I wanted to share her with you.

I spoke with Jen about her beginnings as an entrepreneur, what she does now, as well as asked her for pointers to move past stuck places and doubt in our business. You can listen to our 18 minutes interview here:

Jen Blackert, the Attraction Diva, interview

From her early days as a young girl making soap and crafts to her poignant breakdown experience in corporate America, Jen walks us through what it took for her to have her entrepreneurial wake up moment. She also shared with me the way she approaches helping clients envision and shape their passionate work life, which fits in perfectly here on SmartWoman Guides.

Her upcoming Fearless Millionaire telesummit features 15 internet marketing entrepreneurs, including Bob Doyle, Ken Arthur, Mari Smith and more (see if you find a familar face there…ok,  yes, it’s me too!) The virtual event is a five day marketing and wealth creation event designed to increase abundance, awareness and business wealth creation. The five day event includes daily tele-trainings held daily at 1 p.m., 4 p.m. and 9 p.m. Eastern Time Monday, January 12 through Friday, January 16th.

Here is one of Jen’s interviews, where she discusses her Seven Dragons
book, on Fox News TV.

When you go to Jen’s site, you can sign up for several free gifts. I’ve done it and I recommend you do too.

Enjoy!

Vicki

Some of the most inspiring women in this world have what I call a “hidden light” syndrome. They have so much to give, so much creativity to share, and they don’t let others know about it. They shy away from the spotlight and are hesitant to be out front. They keep their brilliance a secret.

For those of you who are actually introverted, I am not pushing you to change your basic personality. I am classified, per all the psychological personality tests I’ve taken, a gregarious introvert. I know it sounds like a oxymoron, but it’s how I feel. I am able to interact fairly easily with someone once I get to know them, but I get energized being in small groups or by myself. Large crowds don’t work as well for me. I enjoy solitude and quiet time. I am a recovering recluse, too, but that’s a different story. What I mean to emphasize is that being an introvert is not a disease or a mistake. If it’s how you are, fine. Feeling shy or introverted is ok.

But, if you are actually not shy but are playing shy and hiding because of a lack of perspective and self-confidence, I am begging you to stop it today, because, contrary to some social programming, hiding isn’t noble. False humility is not honorable, hiding your gifts does not make you more pure, and pretending that people should simply read your mind and know how fabulous you are is a losing business proposition.

Harsh words, I know. I’m sorry if they pinch. But, let’s come to terms with the difference between arrogance and confidence. You don’t have to go out into the market place and hype yourself all up, making inflated promises, hawking your wares like circus goods. You do have to state, with an aware sense of service, what benefits you provide and how your unique expertise can help your clients.

Yes, there is a fine line between being enthusiastic about what you do and how you do it and pushing too hard with empty promises. That’s the key – the word empty.  If you can actually do what you claim to do, it’s not empty. It’s not dishonest so you don’t have to approach it like it’s dirty. The thing to remember is that the more people who know about you, the more your message gets proliferated, the more people you can help. It’s not a popularity contest but rather an opportunity to serve more, to do more good. Good PR is not about satisfying your ego – it’s about reaching people who need you.

How can you help create better PR if you are not yet comfortable with being in the spotlight? Here are some tips:

1.  Ask for testimonials from your clients and other professionals.

Let others speak the words that you feel are too egotistical to say yourself. It’s a great way to be in touch with your previous clients, maybe get some referrals, but also to let someone else toot the horn for you. Ask for feedback on your service, your expertise, your creative problem solving, your pricing, your unique offerings. It might surprise you just how powerful reading that feedback will be for you. It’s touching to know that you affect people’s lives and it’s a very effective marketing technique to use on your website, in your newsletter, in your promotional materials.

2.  Hire a copywriter.

The best marketing includes keywords, benefits, to the point copy, plus graphical emphasis like bullet points and short, direct sentences. Instead of being hindered by a lack of confidence, a hired gun will have a 3rd person, more objective viewpoint to start with. Most copywriters will work to pull out of you everything they can use to featue you in the best light. Let them. Find someone who understands your vision and where you want to go in your business and let them work their magic with words.

3.  Practice.

Sending out press releases or developing a strong introduction ditty (your “elevator speech”) can be a challenge, but it does get easier with practice. Devote some time to learn about promotional strategies, ask your social media network for advice, read some books. For PR opportunities, visit HARO to start offering yourself up as an expert to media. The media is hungry for new points of view and have a 24/7 news cycle to fulfill. Develop a decent PR release using this Press Release Builder template, and just do it. The funny itchy feeling will go away and you will get more business.

Please know that I have every confidence that you deserve to be recogized for your greatness. Hiding just isn’t the answer, so reach out, speak out, and let your light shine! Today, ok?

Together, we are stronger!
Vicki Flaugher, the original SmartWoman

follow me on Twitter: SmartWoman